specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
ditioned by the sense of duty and responsibility of some elderly towards
their dead parents. “How am I supposed to go there? I really don’t know… if
I don’t die until then… maybe I’ll go... but when I miss my own parents I go
to the cemetery, I miss our land, and these are the things that give us a lot –
who would go there if I leave?” (III_E_11), on the other hand the powerful
origin community attachment can manifest: “I was born there, I grew-up
there and I always look at the picture I have and my heart is full of pain”
(III_E_19).
According to the collected data, the events that can produce pleasure and
satisfaction to the elderly with children abroad focuses mainly on activities
that include the children’s presence: “We’re all together like a big family,
when our son comes home for Christmas and for Easter…Everybody’s
there!” (III_E_2); “I like holidays, when we gather together because we have
a big family, we’re cheerful and we like to talk. We never fight like other big
families do...” (III_E_4).
Some respondents find their comfort in going to church: “The church
brings me pleasure, it’s so calm in there and I like the attitude they have in
there, I like it a lot…” (III_E_21) and in the relations they have with other
people: “Now I like going to church, to serve and to pray and it feels like all
my troubles go away. And I feel happy when the phone rings and I hear my
child’s voice asking me how I am doing. I’m happy when there is somebody at
the door bringing me treats and I like to matter...” (III_E_5).
The study proves that some elderly feel pleased by benefiting from primary
social services, such as a social canteen: “We are invited three times
for dinner, and we get presents during holidays and we get exactly what we
need – green beans that we need for our table” (III_E_21). This conclusion is
valid for the institutionalized elderly who claim that specialized services
totally ensure their needs compared to the lonely environment they have at
home: “Whenever we have a problem or a question we can talk to our director”
(FG_E_urban_asylum); “I suppose that I feel good here because I don’t
have to do the laundry or cook and if I’d live at home I’d lack a lot of things,
but I’m taken care of in here…” (FG_E_rural_asylum). These stories denote
the elderly’s need of support in personal care and the fact they get this support
from the institution’s employees.
Due to the importance of work in our culture, old age provides to the majority
of people a substantial feeling of loss. According to the collected
data, the following problems causing inconvenience and dissatisfaction
to the elderly are mentioned:
- The decrease of their own physical capacities: “What can I do? I have
to dig in the garden but I can’t. I dug yesterday with my boys, but they
left today and I’m alone with my daughter-in-law” (III_E_16);
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