specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

The perception of labour migration
helped them to accept their parents migration. Even if their opinion was
not asked, children justify their parents’ decision, saying: “...you have to
agree with your parents decision, they are elder, they know what they’re doing”
(III_C_16). Or, the acceptance of migration is supported by the certainty
that this step is taken in order to ensure the children’s well-being,
this being inevitable in certain cases.
There is a certain interdependence between a child’s age and the extent to
which he/she accepts the situation, thus the elder the child is the easier it
is for him/her to accept the situation of their parents having to migrate and
vice versa: “I am big and I understand that they are not leaving for their own
sake but for our future... I do understand this, but my little sister... doesn’t…”
(III_C_ 21). At the same time, the survey highlighted some cases when
migration was accepted at first, but opposed afterwards, especially due
to family problems: “At first I understood that she had to leave but right now
I just cannot accept that she is staying there, I don’t think this is right... It is
so hard for all of us” (III_C_19). In some cases, children accept migration
but are eagerly waiting for the moment of their parents’ return home. In
other cases, children expressed not only their acceptance of migration but
also their content at the situation, explaining this feeling due to a decrease
of parental control: “When my mom left I was happy. Nobody was telling
me what to do anymore, how to arrange my hair. I was given more freedom”
(III_C_25). Thus, we encountered situations of an erroneous perception of
liberty: “...we have to accept that there are children who are not happy when
their parents come back home. I met a girl who said: my mom is coming back
next week and... She will start bothering me again” (FG_C_ 3_rural). The
pertinence of such feelings contains a high risk of intergenerational relations
that will persist in the future and at the society level, it can manifest
as a dysfunction within the family.
During focus-group discussions, children whose parents did not leave expressed
their regret concerning the fact that some children – whose parents
are abroad – adopt a deviant behaviour (skipping school, lying, smoking,
drinking, etc). Meanwhile, children whose parents didn’t leave explain
this by saying “this is their way of finding consolation” (FG_C_2_rural). In
most cases, such behaviour was indirectly indicated, when the interviewed
persons were talking about children in their communities.
An important aspect of accepting/rejecting parents leaving abroad constitutes
the personality of the guardian (legal or otherwise) who takes care of
the child. The survey listed among them family members (the other parent,
for instance), grandparents, aunts, other relatives, friends and even
neighbours. An interesting reality was confirmed: the child’s acceptance
of the caregiver does not depend directly on the degree of kinship they
have. On the contrary, there were cases when the child lived with one of
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