specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
ance and a formal excuse: “If we could work..., but since we cannot”;
“Who will come to you if they don’t want any more” (FG_E_4_rural_
asylum). The importance of the “home” and the necessity to take care
of it remains the concern the elderly placed in residential institutions:
“My house is empty since I came here... My neighbours knew about this
and took everything, my TV antenna, the stove from my kiln, my tools,
shovel, pitchfork, everything. Certain things are locked in the house but
the yard is deserted”; “My son told me that everything was stolen from
my yard but what could I do” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum). Emotions in
such cases are extremely heartbreaking.
Speaking about the values, the elderly tend to stress the support children
could offer their parents by taking the responsibility to take care
of them when it is necessary. To give financial support and to live
with them in case the elderly are not able to provide for themselves:
“They should be ashamed to work abroad and not help their parents...”
(III_E_1). It should be specified that this orientation towards traditional
values and the adoption of some conservative conducts is
specific to all the respondents: “I would say a few words that cannot
become true as we cannot turn back the time, but I would like to have a
happy and quiet existence without foes. People should till the land, but
not to let their land lie fallow as it longs for worker’s hands. I’d rather
have my children living with me till my dying day” (III_E_5).
The elderly especially value the good mood of their children and
grandchildren. The fact that they feel good where they are makes the
absence of communication and the distance less painful and also justifies
the children’s migration: “I visit my son in Soci once a year and
stay there for a month. He feels good there but here in the country God
knows how his life could be. Every time I visit them I am happy they are
ok. If they do not call this means everything is ok, they will call me if
they have troubles.” (FG_EE_urban).
Therefore, the values of the elderly people bear a traditional shade
and the nostalgia of a traditional family. Remittances are far more
insignificant in comparison with the desire to reunite the family in
the native house and the good mood of their children and grandchildren.
The conservative attitude in these values is characteristic to all
categories of the elderly whose children are working abroad.
• Plans for the future
The opinion of the elderly about possibilities for the future are focused
on the values they tend to preserve: “At this age I have no possibility
to change anything, but my daughter does and I want to see her
married and be happy. As for the rest we will do it” (III_E_4).
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