specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
died. It was very little and my grandmother shouted at me that I cannot do
something like this, that the kitty also wanted to live, but I washed it and I
killed it” (III_C_10).
Beating, as a disciplinary measure is also used by some caregivers.
Thus, some children said they were beaten unjustly by their grandparents:
“When I was in the 2 nd grade she told me that I cannot even imagine what I
have done…. She used to have a fowl and he used to rush at me and I threw
something at him and my grandmother told me that I cannot do something
like this and she took a stick and she hit me on my back with it, but since then
she hasn’t beaten me anymore” (III_C_10).
Annoyance, an emotional imbalance of the caregivers, their ignorance of
needs and age peculiarities of children they look after cause conflicts and
daily frustrations: “It happens sometimes that when we work and suddenly
I feel thirsty and I go to drink water she is getting upset “Stop wondering
around!”. She is just upset” (III_C_11).
Caregivers morally abuse some children. This emotional abuse is strongly
felt by children as well as other types of abuse; they sharply feel the emotional
stress: “We don’t get along very well, so there’s no way to confess to
her. No…I’m not going to do that. She does not understand me, she’s always
screaming at me and she’s always watching me whatever I do…I’ve never
been punished physically, but she often says that she doesn’t want me anymore
in her house” (III_C_17).
Paradoxically, some interviewed children did not confess to have a positive
emotional relationship and a favourable climate, although considered
as morally secure when their own father cared for them: “We cannot
talk openly to our father. He stays less with us. We talk about things… But
I cannot tell him what bothers me, my problems. Of course, I cannot blame
mom for scolding me, because they will fight even harder... it might get worse.
I cannot talk to my aunts, too because they have their own families, children
and problems” (III_C_19). Some children experience stressful situations
conditioned by their presence to domestic violence scenes: “He doesn’t understand
me, I even fear him, when I was little I used to love him a lot, but
he did a lot of bad things to my mother, he used to beat her and I have hated
him since then and I will never forgive him for that, I don’t want to see him!”
(III_C_22).
Some of the respondents live alone and have to take care of small children:
“There are two houses in the same yard, and our grandparents live not far
away... So, they stay more with my grandparents, and me and my sister stay
at home but they don’t come to visit us…” (III_C_21). Even if they live close
to their grandparents, these children are neglected, which they strongly
feel since their parents migrated for work: “Very difficult, I was crying and
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