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specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

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The health <strong>of</strong> family members The involved perception in the <strong>of</strong> migration labour migration process<br />

unprotected sexual contacts. Such c<strong>as</strong>es are encountered in the study: “I<br />

met a girl who started having sexual contacts at the age <strong>of</strong> 14, <strong>and</strong> when she<br />

w<strong>as</strong> 16 years old she gave birth. Her mother w<strong>as</strong> in Israel, where<strong>as</strong> the father<br />

w<strong>as</strong> drinking <strong>and</strong> w<strong>as</strong> coming home rarely. The girl ab<strong>and</strong>oned her baby...”<br />

(FG_EC_urban).<br />

The c<strong>as</strong>e <strong>of</strong> a 17 year old girl is a demonstrative one <strong>as</strong> her mother h<strong>as</strong><br />

been abroad for six years. During this period the child w<strong>as</strong> in need <strong>of</strong><br />

proper sexual education, communication <strong>and</strong> advice from an adult. Unfortunately,<br />

the girl w<strong>as</strong> <strong>left</strong> with her aunt with whom she w<strong>as</strong> in permanent<br />

conflict. At her young age, she already h<strong>as</strong> a complicated gynaecological<br />

anamnesis (2 abortions) <strong>and</strong> an obvious psycho-emotional<br />

liability: “I suffer a lot, I have to take decisions on my own <strong>and</strong> I’m afraid.<br />

I have no one to talk to; I don’t know whether I am doing good or bad<br />

things...” (III_C_17).<br />

Lack <strong>of</strong> knowledge about a risk-free sexual behaviour is the main cause<br />

<strong>of</strong> sexually transmitted dise<strong>as</strong>es with a significant negative impact on<br />

the reproductive health <strong>of</strong> the population.<br />

The study proved that while away, many parents are reserved to discuss the<br />

sexual problems their teenagers may have, considering this a “taboo” topic.<br />

Most <strong>children</strong> got the information about sexual maturation from m<strong>as</strong>s media,<br />

friends <strong>and</strong> less so from school: “We talk at school about this, but we are<br />

not waiting <strong>and</strong> we start to look for information by ourselves. Where? From<br />

our parents? No! I do not think this should be discussed with the parents. I<br />

have a doctor cousin <strong>and</strong> I talk to her. Moreover, I use the computer <strong>and</strong> the<br />

Internet to search for this kind <strong>of</strong> information. It is not absolutely necessary<br />

to talk to somebody… Yes, I talk to my mom sometimes but because <strong>of</strong> the<br />

embarr<strong>as</strong>sment it’s not that simple either for me or for them to discuss these<br />

subjects” (FG_C_1_urban).<br />

A significant obstacle in sexual education <strong>of</strong> <strong>children</strong> is the communication<br />

conflict between generations. Children who live with their gr<strong>and</strong>parents<br />

usually do not discuss these kind <strong>of</strong> issues, which traditionally are<br />

considered by the older generation a shameful <strong>and</strong> closed topic: “Children<br />

whose parents are abroad are helpless because nobody can tell them things<br />

that their parents could, not even their gr<strong>and</strong>parents” (FG_C_3_rural); “I<br />

<strong>as</strong>ked my gr<strong>and</strong>mother what it is like to be grown-up <strong>and</strong> she said that I<br />

would see it myself, <strong>and</strong> that w<strong>as</strong> it... I didn’t <strong>as</strong>k my friends because I feel<br />

embarr<strong>as</strong>sed” (III_C_10).<br />

However, physical distance between parents who are abroad <strong>and</strong> <strong>children</strong><br />

who remain at home create an emotional distance, which makes<br />

sincere <strong>and</strong> open communication even more problematic. Although the<br />

large majority reported that they frequently communicate by phone or<br />

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