specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

The perception of labour migration
ceive their own abandonment something which is not always recognized,
thus creating a self-defending reaction. Therefore, an elderly person aged
85 who has been institutionalized for four years in a Nursing Home for the
Elderly in a rural area and whose granddaughter visited her only when she
had to perfect her papers for inheriting her house, says with safety and
hope in her voice: “she visited me once” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum). Another
elderly aged 78 who stays in the same Nursing Home for the Elderly and
whose children abandoned him sold the house in an illegal way and consequently
he has nowhere to go – he changes the subject when we want to
talk to him about whether his children visit him. This person finds himself
in the situation where his children are not returning his calls and are
not interested in him and they actually intend to file a denial of paternity
(FG_E_4_rural_asylum). These situations characterize the elderly placed
in such institutions.
There are cases when the problems of the institutionalized elderly are
solved by other people rather than by their children. Children make use
of third person’s help (managers of institutions, nurses, nannies, etc.) that
inform them of their parents needs. This fact does not allow the elderly to
perceive their situation as it is and they don’t feel responsible for their life
anymore: “they used to talk to me when I was at home, but now they talk
to the manager of the institution.”; “he doesn’t call me, he calls the nurses
(medical workers)” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum).
The study shows that most of the elderly placed in institutions reveal a
certain state of safety and an improvement of their problems. This is
acknowledged and appreciated: “We like staying here, it’s clean and we are
well-fed..., I do not bother to cook”; “My wife died here. We have to like it as
there is no other place for us to go”; “They feed us, they wash us and take good
care of us” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum).
The situation of people who lived on the streets for a period of time is also
special. These ones particularly value the existence of daily safety: “I am
not living anymore at railway stations as I used before. This is it. I can say
that I have a family here, a bigger one. The asylum is the one that buries us”
(FG_E_3_urban_asylum).
The study allows us to conclude that the elderly have a certain strategy of
minimizing the weight of the problems that appeared after their children
left abroad for work – replacing parents for their grandchildren, instability,
and suffering. The elderly continue to behave as nothing happened, with a
philosophical approach accepting the routine of their life: “we just have to
do it and we are getting used to this, who will be able to carry our weight? The
sins are ours, we had a good time in our life but there is also suffering that we
have to accept” (III_E_5); “when I was at home I felt younger, I was still able to
work and I had a different lifestyle but it’s over now” (FG_E_4_rural_asylum).
39