specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
thus they do not share their problems and are not interested about each
others situations. Children think they cannot discuss their problems with
their parents because “… they don’t understand anything and I’m not discussing
my problems with them…” (III_C_17), or they explain the situation
by saying that their parents “have their own problems”, that absorb their
lives and thoughts too much, hindering the possibility to understand their
children’s problems. The discontinuity of the relationship with parents can
degenerate and lead to serious issues; one example is presented in Box 3.
BOX 3
Case study. Poverty as an essential cause of migration
(III_E_12)
Ana, 62 years old, from a rural area, is taking care of her 2 small grandchildren,
she says: “She had no money to feed her children. My smaller daughter was not
married at that time but the other one was married. Her child was so small, he was
less than a year old and they lived really badly. Her husband who died had used to
take their elder boy to relatives to feed him. But she, she was starving with the little
one at home. She used to tell me, before she left: “Mom, we are starving”. There
was the season of corn and they used to boil and bake it. And she also told me that
they had a neighbour who had some puppies that were so fat and she was going
there every night to steal one of the puppies and kill it, boil it and eat it.”
The grandmother said that the mother of the children rarely calls her. She
got married abroad and has another child there. Although her new husband
beats her she does not want to come back home.
According to children, their parents are generally aware of the problems
their family members have with little difference depending on the gender
of the migrant parent. The study estimated specific development cases related
to the way parents perceive problems, thus, on one hand, there are
parents who, although they understand problems their children have, still
decide to continue their migration process, on the other hand, the migration
process acts as a coolant in the relationships between family members.
The elderly
• The level of accepting/rejecting migration
Factors that lead to the development of a positive or negative parents’
attitude towards their children’s migration are mainly determined by
the status and age of the elderly, his/her self capacities, the existence of
grandchildren they have to look after while their children are abroad, the
reasons for their children’s migration and the value of the remittances
they transfer home.
When the social status of the elderly is valued, the respect for their contribution
to the development is present and there are cases when children
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