specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
abroad, his mother is in Italy and his father is in France. When the child was 6
months old their parents divorced, his mother immediately left for Italy where
she married again and set another family and his father did the same in France.
The child is cared for by his aunt who is also married and has a little child but
she does not manage to keep up with him. Now the real trouble has started as he
does not go to school at all. He says that he doesn’t want to live neither with his
mother nor his father because they both are very cold with him, although they
provide all the financial support he needs he still lacks their attention. I think he
found a circle of friends where he regained himself even if the core he is searching
for is not there and this is why he decided “to go his way” and to abandon school”
(FG_EC_urban). Another expert said: “I know a case when a father remained
with his daughter and I remember that I had to work a lot with that girl as she
took the side of her mother, she was sending her money, she was waiting for her.
At a certain moment, her mother stopped calling systematically and they lost
the spiritual connection they had before; her father brought another woman
[into the family]… I really tried to do my best, but you know what the first thing
she always said was? “Why my mother does not call me as she did before, every
week or every day?”” (FG_EC_urban). Children cannot accept the lie and
betrayal of their relations with parents. It has a strong impact on them and they
adopt a deviant behaviour.
Communication between children and parents is extremely important for
their mental development. This process does not imply only a periodical oral
exchange of information but also affection, presence and constant emotional
tenderness. Sometimes a child’s need to communicate with their parents remains
unfulfilled. The study shows that there are cases when children rarely
communicate with their parents and children who do not do it at all. Complete
absence of communication is explained, in some cases, by the fact that
labour migrant parents do not prove any intention or in other cases by the
fact that children refuse themselves to talk to their parents. The main condition
for a normal development of a child is to communicate with an adult
and especially with their parents. This communication is based on the system
of personal relation that is created during the first months of a child’s
life and develops according to some specific laws. Ignoring these laws will
affect in a negative way the psychological development of a child. The lack
of communication with their parents generates emotional conflicts that will
influence the mental condition of a child and his/her relationship within the
social environment: the fear of punishment, including physical punishment,
conflicting relations with his peers, lack of self-confident behaviour, etc.
• The relationship with family members/caregivers of the child
Many children left behind as a consequence of their parents’ migration
have a tense relation with family members or caregivers. Some children
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