specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

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CHAPTER I daughter left with her husband abroad and left their little girl with me. They left in September 1996 to Moscow. In July 1997 we received the last telegram and since then we do not know anything about them. Their daughter was one year and seven months old then. She will be soon 16” (III_E_18). When the perception of problems that parties have to face (those at home and those abroad) has a bilateral character the appearance of some idealization or elements of sacrifice can be observed: “In Moscow they would not get the same salary as a [Russian] citizen would and we know that, it’s less and we know that they are working even during nights. I call them at 2 or 3 am and they say that they are still at work and when they come back home there is not even enough money to pay the rent, the utilities and to support children, money for their school” (III_E_2). The study highlighted the aspect of hiding certain problems that the elderly face from their children abroad, which is determined by their wish to protect them as well as their awareness of the impossibility to get involved in the distant settlement of problems: “Why would we tell them about that, so that they would get sick? Our children do not tell us everything that burdens their minds” (III_E_24). As a conclusion, it is important to note that it is essential for children abroad to understand the problems of the elderly at home. It is also essential for their physical and psychological well-being and for their autonomy or dependency. Children who have developed a strong sense of duty towards their parents get involved in their life. In these cases, a healthy and positive emotional relationship also has a positive impact on the physical condition of the elderly. The detachment from their own parents and the lack of any involvement in their life shows selfishness and a lack of traditional family values. 42
Psychological and social effects of migration 1.2. Psychological and social effects of migration Children • Children’s emotional condition Emotions play an important role in children’s life and development: they help them to understand reality and to form a relationship with it. Expressed by their behaviour, they inform the adult about the things they like, dislike or make them sad. The qualitative research that we conducted allows us to identify the impact of migration on the sensitivity of children who are left without parental care due to labour migration. The data that we managed to collect proves that the family has the unique quality to influence the utmost part of a child’s life, having a strong impact on their attachment between them and their parents as well as on primary emotional processes that rule a family’s life and the development of a child’s personality. The psychological perspective of the emotional deprivation demonstrates that the lack of communication with the mother, the lack of emotional contact have a direct impact not only on their physical development but may also cause certain disorders in physical and, first of all, in a child’s emotional development. This is the cause of a premature development of negative behaviour in a person (fear, mental affective conditions and communication barriers). A range of specific needs of children are not met such as security, affection, and safety which explains the negative emotions experienced by children left alone as a result of migration. The absence of one parent or both of them triggers the appearance of emotional weaknesses as the contact between them and their parents is rare and temporarily broken. The effects of the lack of affection grow even more seriously and more irreversible if the absence of parents last in time. Parents’ departure strongly affects the child and is intensely felt: “I feel lonely and I miss them so much” (III_C_28); ”I cried, I didn’t want her to leave, I didn’t want to be left alone” (III_C_8). Sadness and longing are felt by children in certain circumstances and are caused by the absence of their parents, their mother’s affection, the provision of a secure environment: ,,When you are all alone and you are coming back home, you enter the house and you feel that the house is empty and there is nothing to do there. When there is at least somebody in, you can talk to him during dinner, but otherwise you eat alone. And you have no appetite” (FG_C_ 2_rural); ,,We, especially the girls, need our mother’s affection. There is no one to talk to”; “Sometimes, if you’re alone with your sister or brother various conflicts may arise but if a parent would be home, he/she would solve them” (FG_C_2_rural). The labour migration of parents 43
Page 1 and 2: SPECIFIC NEEDS OF CHILDREN AND ELDE
Page 3 and 4: CONTENTS Foreword .................
Page 5 and 6: Foreword quence of migration and in
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Page 9 and 10: Executive summary elderly adjust to
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Page 19 and 20: Methodology Executive Introduction
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Psychological and social effects of
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The perception Children’s of labo
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The health of family members The in
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The integrity of migrant families B
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Values and life plans 1.7. Values a
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Values and life plans arrest shopli
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Values and life plans abroad as I d
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Values and life plans Extremely mar
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Chapter II Some children whose pare
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Normative aspects tection the child
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Normative aspects The legislation o
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Normative aspects Still providing p
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Mechanisms for coping with difficul
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Some children protest against the a
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Conclusions and recommendations (in
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Conclusions and recommendations sum
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Conclusions and recommendations - T
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Annexes Code Age Sex Residence envi
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Annexes Annex 4. Data on focus grou
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Annexes Annex 8. Certificate for th
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