specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
source; (ix) the lack of a place to go: “I met people who when were depressed
sold their apartment, began drinking, ended up on the streets and then there
are even bigger problems: what do you do with them, where do you place them
and their children don’t even pick up the phone...” (FG_EE_urban); (x) emotional
stress: “The durability of the life of the elderly decreases in the period
their children go abroad... still this emotional stress shortens their lives, even
they say it...” (FG_EE_urban); (xi) personality changes, distrust in other
people: “We keep the record only of people whose children are not in the Republic
of Moldova but are abroad for work. When they address us for financial
help we go to their homes and assess their situation, their living conditions
and... I try to see if I can work with them or not, or to transfer the case to my
colleagues who would take care of those elderly, because it’s pretty hard to work
with them, they lack confidence” (FG_EE_urban).
Some of the elderly who take care of their grandchildren require specialized
psychological support for their own grandchildren who are emotionally
deprived: “I’ve been in the field and there is this six year old girl who lives
with her grandmother, her grandmother is a disabled person and when we
asked her what she needs... and she says she needs no parcels, but maybe we
could organize a group or talk with my daughter together with a psychologist,
because she’s not even listening to me. She stays on the computer 24/24,
there’s nothing I can tell her... maybe together with the social worker or a
psychologist you will meet at least once a week...” (FG_EE_urban_rural).
Another problem the elderly left behind have is their self-destructive tendency.
Suicidal thoughts represent the consequence of their depressive
states, the condition of emotional instability, pain, the feeling of endless
trouble, etc. “When you feel bad you just say “God, let me die!” and the second
day you realize how stupid you are thinking like that, everybody wants
to live…” (III_E_8); “There were times when it was hard to go on, I had nothing
to eat and I wanted to kill myself on two occasions” (III_E_12).
Emotional support is minimal and is actually weaker between close people:
“I didn’t have a lot of happiness. I share my secrets with my granddaughter
who lives next to me, we get along well” (III_E_3); “The closest person who
I have now is Vasile... my cohabitant. He supports me whenever I feel angry
or sad... He always finds the right words to say and he helps me” (III_E_15).
Sometimes, an emotional support is intentionally rejected, because they
lack confidentiality: “I’m rather a closed person. I do not like to be mean. I
just stay and wait. If you go and talk to somebody and you’re looking for an
advice, or help… they can tell everything to someone else...”(III_E_12).
The research gives us the possibility to conclude that:
- If the elderly are depressed the despair increases and there can appear
depressive reactions or thoughts about uselessness and suicide;
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