specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

CHAPTER I
that once their children will grow up their needs will increase too and their
incomes will not be sufficient to cover all the necessary expenses.
So, parents’ migration is determined by several causes, the most important
in children’s opinion being those of the financial kind, which – generate
multiple deficiencies: the impossibility to get an education, to have a place
to live or to provide for the household, to undergo any necessary treatment,
etc. Still, within this research situations were unveiled that showed a poor
quality of life (for instance, various types of abuses) was an aggravating
circumstance in the ultimate decision to go abroad to work.
• The perception of problems that can affect the children
Within the reported research, the extent to which children with parents
abroad perceive problems and the risks they are exposed to, due
to parents’ migration were studied. Children are aware of the existing
situation mentioning that the biggest problem they have to face is the
feeling of loneliness generated by the absence of one or both of their
parents: “… you go home, but there’s only loneliness there, you want to
talk to somebody – but there is no one to talk to... You have to cook for
yourself, if you have any domestic animals you have to take care of them
too and it is very difficult” (III_C_1); “the pain”; “the weight”, etc. A specific
expression of an interviewed child that shares her sad experience
says: “I don’t feel like I have my mom beside me” (III_C_16). It is obvious
that during the period that the child’s personality is being developed
the direct participation of parents is of utmost importance in the
educational process.
The departure of the mother is more painfully felt by children than that
of the father; this being explained by a special emotional connection between
mother and child, even when talking about boys (see Box 1. Case
study). The data collected shows that children whose mothers are working
abroad are more introverted and sad, and find it difficult to contain their
emotions, compared to cases where the father has gone. This situation is
caused by the lack of an emotional pillar within the family as well as by the
multitude of tasks falling on children’s shoulders (a situation that is more
characteristic for girls) when the mother goes abroad. When talking about
the parent’s role in a child’s life, they think it is “very important, when your
parents are with you – you feel ok, but when your parents are not home there
is no one you can talk to” (III_C_9).
While the parents are away the children’s attachment is transferred
towards the person who takes care of them, for instance their grandparents:
“I already like to stay with my grandmother...” (See the Case
study, Box 2).
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