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specific needs of children and elderly left behind as a ... - IOM Moldova

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CHAPTER I<br />

<strong>and</strong> the interviewer describes the house <strong>as</strong> being clean <strong>and</strong> warm. The<br />

<strong>children</strong> <strong>of</strong> this old lady who are abroad, are regularly sending money<br />

in order to cover all the living expenses for the family who h<strong>as</strong> been <strong>left</strong><br />

<strong>behind</strong> at home<br />

Another similar example is the c<strong>as</strong>e <strong>of</strong> a lady aged 71 who takes care <strong>of</strong> her<br />

student-gr<strong>and</strong>daughter. The gr<strong>and</strong>mother lives with the life <strong>and</strong> the interests<br />

<strong>of</strong> her gr<strong>and</strong>daughter, which motivates her a lot to provide her with<br />

adequate living conditions: “I wake up, I prepare her the breakf<strong>as</strong>t, I boil the<br />

water, we brush the teeth, she gets dressed, I prepare the food – sometimes<br />

cornflakes with milk, sometimes semolina, <strong>and</strong> I take her to school <strong>and</strong> after<br />

I get back I w<strong>as</strong>h the dishes <strong>and</strong> cook the lunch <strong>and</strong> then go to take her from<br />

school. Then I take her to English cl<strong>as</strong>ses <strong>and</strong> in the end we do her homework<br />

together. We watch some cartoons <strong>and</strong> shows in English” (III_E_3). The<br />

same lady says: “We do the laundry very <strong>of</strong>ten, for instance we change our<br />

underwear every day because that’s what my daughter told me to do”. This<br />

indicates that the gr<strong>and</strong>mother is doing her best to ensure adequate living<br />

conditions for her gr<strong>and</strong>daughter to reduce <strong>as</strong> much <strong>as</strong> possible the impact<br />

<strong>of</strong> her mother’s absence.<br />

Conversely, placing the care <strong>of</strong> minors on the shoulders <strong>of</strong> the <strong>elderly</strong><br />

who suffer from many dise<strong>as</strong>es, represents an enormous load for<br />

them <strong>and</strong> this keeps them in a constant state <strong>of</strong> stress <strong>and</strong> agitation.<br />

Here is the c<strong>as</strong>e <strong>of</strong> a lady aged 62, who h<strong>as</strong> been taking care <strong>of</strong> her two<br />

gr<strong>and</strong><strong>children</strong> for 13 years: “I feel very bad <strong>and</strong> this diabetes is killing me,<br />

the arthritis – my foot h<strong>as</strong> swollen <strong>and</strong> I have hepatitis C... My liver hurts<br />

so bad... <strong>and</strong> my kidney – I think that my sugar is destroying everything.<br />

And it’s so hard. I almost never go out because I cannot walk, or I feel<br />

dizzy from the pressure <strong>and</strong> my feet start hurting” (III_E_12). Being very<br />

ill, she continued to work, because it would be impossible to raise two<br />

<strong>children</strong> with the pension she receives. Her daughter, the mother <strong>of</strong> the<br />

<strong>children</strong>, is abroad, <strong>and</strong> she’s not involved in the raising <strong>of</strong> her <strong>children</strong>.<br />

“I have no force to work. I worked because I have two gr<strong>and</strong><strong>children</strong> to<br />

bring up... When I w<strong>as</strong> still working things were better but now it’s really<br />

hard – they’re so big now... They’re like two grown-up men <strong>and</strong> they eat<br />

like 7 persons!” The woman is concerned for her gr<strong>and</strong><strong>children</strong>: “It’s the<br />

time when you have to be very careful, not to let them do stupid things,<br />

<strong>as</strong> they’re boys”.<br />

Similar situations were mentioned by the experts, identified <strong>as</strong> a result <strong>of</strong><br />

the focus-groups: “The old lady doesn’t have the same forces to take care <strong>of</strong><br />

her gr<strong>and</strong><strong>children</strong>; she’s always angry <strong>and</strong> tense” (FG_ EE_urban).<br />

The care for their gr<strong>and</strong><strong>children</strong> requires both financial resources <strong>and</strong><br />

energy from the <strong>elderly</strong>. It is important to note that in many c<strong>as</strong>es they<br />

lack them, especially when afflicted by greater deficiencies <strong>and</strong> serious<br />

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