An investigation into the phenomena and practices of spiritual ...

without reaching the required „standard‟ of written English. This was highlighted whenthese students arrived on a teachers‟ training course. Overseas students also foundthemselves in this category.Whilst feeling like a foreigner in White society, I also experienced rejection from theBlack majority church and this illuminates the fact that I am truly between cultures. I ambetween cultures because of my education, which has informed my view of the church, andbecause of my age, caught between the older generation of my parents and the youngergeneration of my children. I have lived the shifting diasporic identity of Caribbeanmigrants to the UK described in Chapter 4.My sense of rejection was reinforced by the death of my mother in July 2002. I hadrealised that my mother was dying when I embarked on the journey of this research and herdeath made me more determined to complete this research as a tribute to myself, mymother and my family. My mother‟s death made me realise that I was alone in my questfor knowledge and recognition in my own right. Not as a daughter, sister, mother, auntieteacher, friend, minister or any other role that I may assume in life. I wanted recognitionfor my work on my own terms.In May 2006 my father died. I was surprised and pleased that he survived my mother bynearly four years. Following the death of my mother, I added to my isolation by refusingto continue the level of family responsibility that I had had during my mother‟s lifetimeand particularly during her illness. My siblings added to my isolation by their expectationsthat I should continue in the mothering role. They refused to communicate with me and Iwith them on a personal level. This isolation was compounded by the sense of being alone12