DeConick A.D

134
PAUL AND GNOSTIC DOGMA
Figure 4.3 God (Alanis Morissette) standing at church entrance with Metatron (Alan Rickman)
in Dogma.
So we all wait on pins and needles with the Dogma gang for the final
scene, when the door of the church opens and God steps out with Metatron.
What will God look like? Defying all odds, God looks like Alanis
Morissette, a beautiful white rock star with long brunette hair, carrying a
small bunch of daisies (figure 4.3).
She is an image of contradictions, a surprising God beyond our belief.
When she speaks, it is not in a woman’s voice. Instead, she emits a noise
so loud and cacophonous that Bartleby’s head explodes. She kisses Jay,
the foul-mouthed, sex-crazed prophet, leaving him speechless. She brings
Bethany back to life with a wrist action that can only be compared to
Mr. Miyagi teaching his student to wax a car. As Metatron says, “Wax on,
wax off.” God dances around, rolls on the ground, acting a little insane.
We wonder, can this really be it ?
When Bethany asks her the question of the movie—“Why are we
here?”—God stares at her for a long time. Then she mimes the famous
scene from the classic 1967 film The Graduate : “I have one word for you.
Just one: plastics.” God smiles and walks away with Metatron in tow. Then
Metatron turns around toward Bethany and has the last word: “Didn’t I
tell you she was funny?”