PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule

46
Three: How Will You Know One When You Meet One?
Open people are more open to responding to digressions than
Guarded personalities are. Th ey need to make conversation more enjoyable,
so they look favorably upon straying from the subject to discuss
personal experiences. As long as it’s in the ballpark, they fi gure it’s
probably relevant. “Th at reminds me of the time Uncle Jed got stuck
on the Garden State Freeway for fi ve hours . . . ” And exaggeration of
details just adds interest by fully depicting their experiences.
Open types are also more negotiable about time. Th eir time perspective
is organized around the needs of people fi rst and tasks second,
so they’re more fl exible about how others use their time than the
Guarded types. “I’m sorry I’m late for work today, but my son was
crying this morning because Jason broke his science project. So I had
to write a note to the teacher and cheer him up before I dropped him
off at school.”
Of course, like any behavior that’s overused, these same Open
characteristics can also drive people up the wall if they get out of
hand. For example, self-disclosure can be seen as neediness, digression
as inattention, animation as melodrama, acquiescence as weakness,
and friendliness as patronization. As with Direct to Indirect
tendencies, too much of anything can become a liability.
Or Guarded?
If Open types seem more like open books, then Guarded ones tend
to be more poker faced. Guarded individuals prefer to play their real
cards closer to the vest— increasing the probability of getting the upper
hand and decreasing the probability of appearing foolish. Th ey
usually like to keep their distance, both physically and mentally. Th ey
don’t touch you and you don’t touch them. People oft en say this about
a Guarded person they know: “Once you get to know him, he’s a really
great guy.” But you must become acquainted by breaking through
that exterior shell that he erects. Consequently, Guarded people tend