PeopleSmart in Business eBook - The Platinum Rule

48
Three: How Will You Know One When You Meet One?
Because time equals money to Guarded people, they’re more disciplined
about how other people use their time. In part, this explains
their tendency not to show, discuss, or willingly listen to thoughts and
feelings like Open people. Guarded people are more matter-of-fact,
with more fi xed expectations of people and situations. Just as facts place
second for Open people, feelings take a back seat for Guarded people.
You might say that Open people experience life by tuning in to the
concerns or feeling states (of themselves and others) and then reacting
to them. Guarded people focus on the points or ideas in question.
Guarded people like to know where a conversation is going. Idle,
non-directed chitchat is not for them. If Open types stray from the
subject, Guarded people fi nd a way to bring them back on track. Th ey
usually need clarity before they move on to the next topic. If you get
off the subject, they’re likely to ask, “Can you sum that up for me?” or,
“What is the key point you’re trying to make?”
Because of their diff erent priorities, Guarded types can perceive more
Open ones as time wasting or wishy-washy. And Open people may
view these Guarded people as cold, unsympathetic, or self-involved.
As a result, misunderstandings can quickly grow out of proportion
when we don’t discern and respond to these types of diff erences. You
may still wonder which is better—Open or Guarded behavior. And
again, the answer is, “It depends.” As with Directness and Indirectness,
circumstances determine the appropriateness of any type of behavior.
Our awareness of potential pitfalls for each personality pattern
can save multitudes of problems for ourselves and others as well as for
our workplace, social groups, and organizations.
Whereas Open people may feel any attention is better than no attention
at all, Guarded people tend to be more selective about whom they
associate with. Th ey feel more comfortable retaining fi rm control over
their emotions.