Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr* Doolcy
anny hour iv th' day or night, an' Binjamin Frank-
lin's unyform was a fur cap an' a pair iv specs.
" In thim simple days, whin th' fathers iv th' ray-
public wanted to sind a man abroad to skin a king,
they put their heads together an' picked out a good,
active, thravellin' salesman kind iv a man. Th' fathers
iv th' raypublic was mos'ly in th' fish-ile business, an'
knew th' cap'ble men in thrade.
'
Who'll we sind to
Fr-rance ?' says Thomas Jefferson.
4
This here
matther iv th' Loosyany purchase has got to be deli-
cately handled or we won't get all th' best iv it,' he
'
says. I suggest Obadiah Perkins iv Newburypoort,'
'
says Jawn Adams. Has he had anny diplomatic
*
I wanst see
expeeryence ?' says Pathrick Hinnery .
him sell a bar'l iv tin-pinny nails to a lady that come
to th' store to buy a pound iv sody-crackers,' says
'
Jawn Adams. He's our man,' says all th' others,
an' Obadiah Perkins got th' job.
" He packed a collar an' an exthry pair iv socks
in a bag, took along a copy iv th' Westminsther Con-
fissyon an' an inthrest table f'r riference, provisioned
himsilf with atin' tobacco, an' started out. At eight
o'clock he landed in Paree ; at eight-eight he knocked
down a coort chamberlain an' a jawnnydarm, an'
landed in th' lap iv Looey th' Magnificent-but-Tired.
At nine o'clock th' monarch had given him a goold
watch, a jooled snuff-case, a finger-ring, an' a soord,
had signed a deed thransferrin' th' Change All Aisy
to th' American people, who have owned it to this
day, an' was in fits iv laughter over a story about
Silas Cooper iv Salem, which Ambassadure Obadiah
told him in th' perfect Fr-rinch he had picked up
fr'm th' cook iv th' ship goin' over. Afther that
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