Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Corporal Punishment
in his shirt-sleeves all day long, slashin' away at
countherfeiters, illicit distillers, postal thieves, an'
dimmycrats.
"
No, Hinnissy, there ain't a hair's difference between
a blackguard who beats his wife an' a gover-
mint that beats its childher. Ye can't cure corp'ral
punishmint be makin' th' govermint th' biggest kind
iv corp'ral punisher. Ye can't inflict corp'ral punishmint
onless ye'er sthronger thin th' fellow ye
punish, an' if ye ar-re sthronger ye ought
to be
ashamed iv ye'ersilf . Whiniver I hear iv a big six-
fut school-teacher demandin' that he be allowed to
whale a thirty-two-inch child I feel like askin' him
up here to put on th' gloves with Jeffreys. Whin a
govermint or a man raysorts to blows it shows they're
ayether afraid or have lost their timpers. An' there
ye ar-re."
"Spare th' rod an' spile th' child," said Mr.
Hennessy.
" Yes," said Mr. Dooley, " but don't spare th' rod
an' ye spile th' rod, th' child, an' th' child's father."