Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr* Doolcy
ye'd see him pickin' purple ties out iv th' shop window,
buyin' theaytre tickets be th' scoor, an' stoppin'
ivry avenin' at a flower-shop to vilets He'd hire a man to
gather a bunch iv
nudge him whin his
birthday come around, an' ivry time th' annyvarsary
iv th' weddin' occurred he'd have a firewurruks dis-
play fr'm th' front stoop. Whin he'd succeeded in
convincin' th' objeck iv his affictions that she cud put
up with him f'r another five years they cud go on
their weddin' journey. Ye'd read in th' pa-apers:
'
Misther an' Mrs. Archybald Pullets were marrid
again las' night be th' president iv th' First Naytional
Bank. They departed on their twelfth weddin'
journey, followed be a shower iv rice fr'm their
gr-reat grandchildher.' It wud be fine. I hope
George What's-his-name puts it through."
" I don't believe wan wurrud ye say," said Mr.
Hennessy.
"
P'raps not," said Mr. Dooley.
"
In me heart
I think if people marry it ought to be f'r life Th'
laws ar-re altogether too lenient with thim."