Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

BUSINESS AND POLITICAL
HONESTY
"TTT'S a shame," said Mr. Dooley, laying down
" his paper, that more business men don't go
JL into pollyticks."
"
I thought they did," said Mr. Hennessy.
"
No, sir," said Mr.
"
Dooley ; ye don't r-read th'
pa-apers. Ivry year, whin th' public conscience is
aroused as it niver was befure, me frinds on th' pala-
jeems
iv our liberties an' records iv our crimes calls
f'r business men to swab out our govermint with business
methods. We must turn it over to pathrites who
have made their pile in mercantile pursoots iv money
wheriver they cud find it. We must injooce th' active,
conscientious young usurers fr'm Wall Sthreet to
take an inthrest in public affairs. Th' poolrooms is
open. To thim guilded haunts iv vice th' poor
wurrukinman carries his weekly wage, an' thries to
increase it enough so that he can give it to his wife
without blushin'. Down with th' poolrooms, says I.
But how ? says you. Be ilictin' a business man mayor,
says I. But who'll we get? says you. Who betther,
says I, thin th' prisidint iv th' Westhren Union Til-
lygraft Comp'ny, who knows where th' poolrooms
ar-re.
" Th' wather departmint is badly r-run. Bict
th' prisidint iv th' gas comp'ny. Th' onforchnit
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