Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr. Dooley
den Cudahy bounded in. Ivanovitch flushed darkly,
an' thin, as if a sudden determination had sthruck
him, dhrew on his overhalls an' wint out to shampoo
th' pigs. [Th' continyuation iv this thrillin' story
will be found in th' next issue iv Leaf Lard. F'r sale
at all dellycatessen-stores.]'
" An' there ye ar-re, Hinnissy. It's a turr'ble
situation. Here am I an' here's all th' wurruld been
stowin' away meat since th' days iv Nebudcud whatye-may-call-him.
'Tis th' pleasant hour iv dinner.
We've been waitin' half an hour, pretindin' we were in
no hurry, makin' convarsation, an' lookin' at th'
clock. There is a commotion in th' back iv th' house,
an' a cheery perfume iv beefsteak an' onions comes
through an open dure. Th' hired girl smilin'
but triumphant flags us fr'm th' dinin'-room. Th'
talk about th' weather stops at wanst. Th' story iv
th' wondherful child on'y four years old that bit his
brother is stowed away f'r future use. Th' comp'ny
dashes out. There is some crowdin' at th' dure.
'
Will ye sit there, Mrs. ?' Casey
* Mrs. Hinnissy,
squat down next to Mike.'
*
Tom, d'ye stow ye'ersilf
at th' end iv th' table, where ye can deal th' pota-
toes.'
* Ar-re ye all r-ready ? Thin go.' There ar-re
twinty good stories flyin' befure th' napkins ar-re
well inside iv th' collar. Th' platter comes in smokin'
like Vesuvyous. I begin to play me fav'rite chune
with a carvin'-knife on a steel whin Molly Donahue
remarks :
' Have ye r-read about th' invistygations
iv th' Stock Yards ?' I dhrop me knife. Tom Dona-
hue clutches at his collar. Mrs. Hinnissy says th'
rooms seem close, an' we make a meal off potatoes an'
wathercress. Ivrybody goes home arly without sayin'