Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Oats as a Food
do I know that all our boasted prosperity ain't based
on pie? Says I, lave well enough alone. It may be
that if we sarched f'r th' corner-stone iv American
liberty an' pro-gress, we'd find it was apple-pie with
a piece iv toasted cheese.
" People don't have anny throuble with their di-
gistions fr'm atin'. 'Tis thinkin' makes dyspepsy;
worryin' about th' rent is twinty times worse f'r a
man's stomach thin plum-puddin'. What's worse still,
is worryin' about digistion. Whin a man gets to
doin' that all th' oats between here an' Council Bluffs
won't save him."
"
Joyce tells me his breakfast food has made him
as sthrong as a horse," said Mr. Hennessy.
"It ought to," said Mr. Dooley. "Him an' a
horse have th' same food."