Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

HOTELS AND HOTEL LIFE
"^ "^HAT was a crool thing they done at th'
Waldorf-Astorya to me frind Hagan,"
M said Mr. Dooley.
"
I don't know him," said Mr.
"
Hennessy. Who
is he?"
" Ye know him all right, but ye don't reconize th'
name," said Mr.
"
Dooley. He's more cillybrated
undher what Hogan calls his nom de plume iv Jack
O'Brien Phillydelphy Jack O'Brien. An, now I see
ye know him. All gr-reat warryors take martial
names whin they enther th' ring, onless they have
thim to start with like Sullivan. I wanst knew a Jew
man be th' name iv Mulkoweski, who fought or run
away or lay down undher th' haughty name iv Ryan.
So this Misther Hagan, whin he took up th' manly
art iv hidin' his fellow-man f'r a percintage iv th'
gate receipts, adopted th' name iv a gallant thribe, a
name, Hinnissy, for-midable enough to make his
opponent jump out iv th' ring without sthrikin' a
blow. He brought much honor be his valor to th'
city iv Willum Penn, an' fin'-ly reached th' top iv his
career be lammin' th' gr-reat Robert Fitzsimmons.
'Twas hardly a fair deal, d'ye mind, f'r Fitzsimmons
is a decrepit, worn-out, decayed, dodderin', senile ol'
man iv past forty. Besides, he was havin' throuble
with his wife, an' all th' time he was fightin' he didn't
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