Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

gr-reat Fitzsimmons.
for ye,' says th' clerk.
Hotels and Hotel Life
* Thin we haven't anny place
'
Get out,' he says. An' poor
O'Brien had to lave, an' there was no place f'r him to
rest his head that night but th' newspaper offices. But
th' Waldorf was saved, th' purl was averted, an' be-
fure manny hours th' shelter iv wealth resumed th'
ordhinry quite an' peace iv a Wild West show.
"
An' there ye ar-re, Hinnissy. I see in th' paapers
th' other day a fellow said we'd soon all be
livin' in hotels. I think be all iv us he meant th' rich,
f'r th' life is too gay f'r th' poor. I wanst lived in
a hotel f'r a night. I was bumped out iv a 'bus at
th' dure, an' as I got to me feet th' porter threw me
gripsack at me, an' it opened up, an' I was some time
findin' me collar. I wint to th' desk, an' afther I'd
got th' attintion iv th' clerk, he called a bell-boy
about thirty-eight years ol' an' says :
' Take him to
room forty thousan' an' eight.' He said it in such
a way I thought he wud've been more respictful if
he'd put on th' black cap.
* This way,' says th' boy,
an' he pushed me into an ilivator rilled with ladies
an' gintlemen an' th' sparkle iv joolry an' aromy.
" There was plenty iv room f'r me, but hardly
enough f'r th' buttons on me vest, which was scraped
off as th' ilivator flew on its mad flight. Ivry lady
that got off give me a good poke in th' back to remim-
ber her by. A heavy ol' gintleman stood on me feet
an' thried to pretind he didn't know it be lookin* over
me head. Ivry time th' criminal in charge iv th'
ilivator stopped th' car he jolted me fr'm me heels
up, an' ivry time he started it I had a quare sinsation
like a thrickle iv ice-wather run up me spine. But
on we wint till we hit th' roof, th' dure swung open,
[241]