Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr* Dooley
see O'Brien at all, but on'y th' beautiful face iv th'
fair but fickle wan, an' thried to punch it. It was
th' vision iv this lovely creature that he swung at, an'
th' result was that he got a good lickin', an' so will
anny wan who fights visions whin a wan-hundherdan'-sivinty-pound
youth is thryin' to knock his head
off. That is, I thought he got a good lickin', but I
see be th' pa-apers that 'twas not quite so simple.
Th' hero iv a thousan' fights an' a millyon challenges,
intherviews, snap-shots, an' melodhramas bowed his
proud ruby crest in th' anguish iv defeat an' passed
his lorls to th' fair brow iv a youthful conqueror, an'
was gathered to th' gr-reat Valhalla iv pugylism, an'
said he was sick to his stomach an' cudden't go on.
An' O'Brien, iv coorse, jined th' other pro-fession
that its members ar-re so proud iv that they always
change their names whin thy enther it. In other
wurruds, Hinnissy, he become an actor.
"
Afther returnin' to his native city, an' bein'
received with more ginooine enthusyasm thin if he
was a reformed mayor, he wint up to New York an'
made sthraight f'r th' centher iv all that is best, an'
says so, in th' life iv our young raypublic. It was
th' avenin' hour, an' th' scene beggared description
an' manny iv' th' guests. All New York had gathered
there her beauty an' her chivalry fr'm Aby Hum-
mel's office an' th' Stock Exchange. There was also
some beauty an' a dash iv chivalry fr'm Peotone,
What Cheer, an' Barry's Landing. Th' millyon in-
candescent electhric lights shone upon th' innocint
little childher iv th' cultivated classes, an' was re-
flected in their di'mon' tiaras as they played skip-rope
with ropes iv pearl through th' corrydors, or begged
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