Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr* Dooley
siveral iv th' more violent mimbers iv th' Irish party
took off their hats an' put thim on again in token iv
their rage. It was some minyits befure th' House
raysumed its nap. Thus was another Irish riv'lution
brought to a succissful con-elusion.
" 'Twas a g-reat day f'r th' race, Hinnissy. I
thought, whin I begun to read th' -pa-aper an' see
'
th' name O'Donnell : Well, here's where th' Right
Hon'rable Arthur James Balfour .gets a good smack
in th' eye.' They're a fightin' breed, th' O'Donnells,
though niver a match f'r us, an' no mimber iv th'
fam'ly that I iver knew cud get
his fist within an inch
iv a man's nose without lavin' it go two inches further.
I to mesilf :
< Go it, O'Donnell, me boy. Eight
Says
to wan on ye.' But no! Ne'er a blow was sthruck.
Th' race iv O'Donnells has changed. They're no
longer th' burly boys with th' pike an' th' scythe.
They're f'r riv'lution, but don't upset th' tay-things.
They no more attimpt to catch th' Speaker's eye
with th' thumb. They're in favor iv freein' Ireland,
but with th' permission iv th' comity on rules. It's
right, too, Hinnissy. I'm opposed to vilence in anny
form. We must be pathrites, but we must first iv all
be gintlemen. Afther ye, me dear Alphonse.
" But whin I come to think iv it, I guess p'raps
I'm wrong. Ye can't be a rivolutionist in a silk hat
an' a long coat. Riv'lution is wurruk f'r th' shirt-
sleeves. A riv'lution can't be bound be th' rules iv
th' game because it's again' th' rules iv th' game.
Put away th' tall hat, niver mind th' cups an' sau-
cers, tell ma to pack up her things, an' take th' girls
off to her mother's. Pah an' th' boys ar-re goin' to
have a riv'lution.
[130]