Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

The Bar
time on their hands. While they ar-re waitin' f'r a
load they get wan. Even some iv thim ar-re sober.
Ye can tell them be their hats.
" Somehow or another, Hinnissy, it don't seem just
that there shud be a union iv church an' saloon.
right
These two gr-reat institutions ar-re best kept apart.
They kind iv offset each other, like th' Supreem
Coort an' Congress. Dhrink is a nicissry evil, nicissry
to th' clargy. If they iver admit its nicissry to th'
consumers they might as well close up th' churches.
Ye'll niver find Father Kelly openin' a saloon. He
hates me business, but he likes me. He says dhrink
If I moved out a worse
is an evil, but I'm a nicissity.
man might come in me place."
"Ye ra-aly do think dhrink is a nicissry evil?"
said Mr. Hennessy.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if it's an evil to a
man, it's not nicissry, an' if it's nicissry it's an evil."
THE END