Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr. Dooley
that th' name iv Leepold, King iv th' Biljums, is on
th' nozzle. He makes gum shoes, nursin'-bottles, rain-
coats, combs, an' teethin'-rings. Ivry week he has to
set down with th' boord iv directors iv his rubber
comp'ny an' hope f'r rain.
" He takes his pleasure befure all th' wurruld. If
ye go into a hotel annywhere in Europe, Dorney
says, ye can see him settin' in a rockin'-chair smokin'
a seegar an' chattin' with th' dhrummers.
'
Who's
that old la-ad with th' whiskers?' says Dorney to
th' clerk.
*
That's ol' Leepold, King iv Biljum,' says
th' clerk.
*
He's our star-boarder,' he says.
*
Who's
that ol' fool cuttin' up with th' chorus girls at th'
next table?' says Dorney to th' waither at th' res-
thrant.
waither.
* It's Leepold, King iv Biljum,' says th'
'
He's in here ivry night. I guess his home
life ain't very atthractive.'
4 Th' King iv Biljum in
his autymobill ran into a milk-cart yisterdah on th'
bullyvard,' says th' pa-apers. ' In th' altercation that
followed, th' lowly milkman walloped his majesty
severely. . . . Th' King iv Biljum wint up in an air-
ship yisterdah an' aftherwards took dinner with Santos-Dumont,
Colonel Tom Ochiltree, Tod Sloan, an'
Chansy Depoo. . . . Th' King iv Biljum an' Maddymozelle
Toorooro, th' Spanish dancer, danced a fan-
dango at th' Caffy de Paree las' night. His majesty
paid f'r all breakage. . . . Ivry afthernoon th' King
iv Biljum can be seen on th' bullyvard. Th' statement
that th' droop in his right eye is permanent is
not correct. . . . Th' King iv Biljum was seen in a
smokin'-car in th' limited thrain yisterdah, in his
shirt-sleeves, playin' siven-up with a few frinds.
Whin th' thrain stopped f'r lunch his majesty hopped
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