Disserations by Mr. Dooley (1906) - Almanac of Theodore Roosevelt

Dissertations by Mr* Dooley
th' way it is thin whin Schulz screened a Schwabian
6
account iv it through his whiskers. What d'ye want
to do?' says I. 'To make all men akel,' says he. 'Akel
to who ?' says I.
*
If ye mane akel to me, I'm agree-
*
I tire iv bein' supeeryor to th' rest iv
able,' I says.
th' race,' says I.
'
But,' says I, 6 if ye mane akel to
ye,' says I, * I'll throuble ye to take ye'rsilf off,' says
<
I. I shave,' says I."
"
But suppose you did get Socialism. What
would you do?" asked Mr. McKenna (Rep.).
"
Bebel
"
says began Mr. Schwartzmeister.
"Shut up, Schwartz," said Mr. Larkin.
" Th'
first thing we'd do wud be to take all th' money in
th' wurruld an' throw it into th' lake."
" Not my money," said Mr. McKenna.
"
Yes, ye'er's an' ivrybody else's," said Mr.
Larkin.
" Mine wudden't make much iv a splash," said Mr.
Hennessy.
" Hush," said Mr. Larkin.
" Thin we'd set ivry
wan to wurruk at something."
" What wurruk wud ye put us at ?" asked Mr.
McKenna.
"
Liebnicht
"
says began Mr. Schwartzmeister.
"
Niver mind what he says," said Mr. Larkin.
66
Ivry man wud wurruk at what plazed him."
" But suppose no wurruk plazed him," said Mr.
Dooley and Mr. McKenna at once.
"
He'd starve," said Mr. Larkin.
" He wud," said Mr. Dooley.
"Well," said Mr. McKenna, after some thought,
"
I choose to feed th' swans in Lincoln Park."
" Ye cudden't," said Mr Larkin.
" Ye wudden't
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