Psychology of sex - Total No. of Records in System :: 2032

PSYCHOLOGY OF SEXfor this treatment. One fears that there is still too muchthat in this matter the husbandtruth in Balzac's sayingis sometimes like an orang-outang with a violin. Theviolin remains "anaesthetic/' but it isprobably not theviolin's fault. This isby no means to say that husbandsare consciously or intentionally brutal. Certainly muchbrutality may be exercised by a husband in sheer ignorance,from a sense of conjugal duty. But often the inexpertnessis combined with a real desire to be considerate.The sad thing is,indeed, that the awkward husband is,in a great proportion of cases, awkward simply because heis virtuous and high-minded, has tried to live a life ofchastity before marriage, and has never learned to knowthe nature and needs of women. It is quite true that thevery happiest marriages, marriages of life-long devotionon each side, have sometimes been made by two youngone but each other.people who have never known anyBut this innocence is a two-edged sword, and in manycases it is the other way that it cuts. Then the man whohas faithfully lived by the rules of the morality he wasbrought up in may find that he has thus wrecked his ownIt must be added thatdomestic happiness and his wife's.the man whose pre-marital experiences have been confinedto prostitutes is often by no means any better equipped,and either thoughtless crudity, or an exaggerated considerationfor his wife's"purity," may prove equally unfortunate.It must be admitted that the husband's task is oftendifficult. The difficulty is increased by the late age atwhich in civilization a woman enters the state of marriageafter a long period of years in which she has presumablybeen leading a life of chastity. During those long yearsthere has been, we know, a constant generation of sexualenergy which must be consumed along some channel or[334]