Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

21
Why Did Anyone Think It Would Change?
Everything you need to know about the legitimacy of Bush's claim to the moral high ground
can be summed up by the conduct of his campaign in the South Carolina Republican primary.
You may remember that Senator John McCain, like Bush a Vietnam-era fighter pilot
(with one key difference-McCain actually fought in his fighter), had roundly defeated the
Texas governor in New Hampshire. McCain's "Straight Talk Express" was gathering momentum.
Something had to be done.
In February of 2000, lucky Republican voters in South Carolina began receiving
phone calls assessing their feelings about a series of important issues. A typical call began
like this:
CALLER: Hi. I'm calling from an independent polling company and I was wondering
if I could have a minute of your time to conduct a survey.
UNSUSPECTING VOTER: Uh ... Sure.
CALLER: Great! If you knew that Senator John McCain was a cheat and a liar and
a fraud, and that he has fathered an illegitimate black child, would you be
more likely to vote for him or less likely to vote for him?
UNSUSPECTING VOTER: Hmm. Probably less.
As you might have gathered, the calls were not actually made by independent polling
companies. Nor were they intended to gather information. They were a particularly insidious
example of "push polling," a technique invented by Bush Sr.'s political guru, Lee Atwater.
Push polls are a sneaky way to spread lies about your opponent while appearing to
keep your own hands clean. To my knowledge, McCain has not fathered any illegitimate
children of any race. He and his wife Cindy did, however, adopt a Bangladeshi girl, Bridget,
who has dark skin and appeared regularly with her parents at campaign events, thus granting
the rumor an especially sinister veneer of plausibility. Nice work, Bush campaign!
(By the way, I myself suggested a retaliatory push poll to a friend in the McCain
camp. It went like this: "Hi, we're an independent polling company. If you knew that, during
the five and a half years that John McCain was being tortured in Hanoi, George W Bush
snorted five and a half kilograms of cocaine, would you be more likely to vote for Governor
Bush or less likely to vote for Governor Bush?")