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41<br />

My Personal Search for Weapons of Mass Destruction<br />

This is <strong>the</strong> chapter I've been putting off for <strong>the</strong> whole book. At one point I told Team<strong>Franken</strong><br />

that I was going to wait until <strong>the</strong> reconstruction of Iraq was complete to write it, but <strong>the</strong>y said<br />

<strong>the</strong>y wanted to read what I had to say while <strong>the</strong>y were still alive.<br />

Deep breath. Okay. Here's <strong>the</strong> thing.<br />

I was genuinely torn about <strong>the</strong> war. On <strong>the</strong> one hand, I'm not a believer in <strong>the</strong> Bush<br />

Doctrine of preemption. I think it could be used to justify wars of aggression, not just by us,<br />

but by <strong>the</strong> Japs.<br />

On <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand, it would be silly to deny that, on 9/11, <strong>the</strong> world changed. On that<br />

day, we learned that America was vulnerable to attack. There were hard choices to be made.<br />

We were con fronting an enemy that was everywhere and nowhere. The person who had to<br />

make those choices was <strong>the</strong> man with all <strong>the</strong> facts: George Herbert Walker Bush. <strong>And</strong> his<br />

son-<strong>the</strong> President.<br />

So, reluctantly, I became a supporter of <strong>the</strong> war against Saddam. In my own defense, I<br />

should say that I wasn't thinking clearly. I was terrified by <strong>the</strong> imminent threat to me and my<br />

family posed by Iraq's arsenal of weapons of mass destruction.<br />

I was especially frantic about <strong>the</strong> nuclear device Saddam was building with enriched<br />

uranium obtained from Niger. The President had told <strong>the</strong> entire nation about that in his State<br />

of <strong>the</strong> Union address.<br />

My wife was not so worried about <strong>the</strong> nuclear threat. She was more concerned about a<br />

chemical attack on <strong>the</strong> <strong>Franken</strong>s. They're doing some construction across from our apartment,<br />

and my wife was convinced that <strong>the</strong> large cement mixer was one of those mobile chemical<br />

weapons laboratories that Colin Powell told <strong>the</strong> U.N. about.<br />

My son, Joe, who is normally very levelheaded, was less worried about a chemical attack<br />

than a biological one. He thought <strong>the</strong> cement mixer was mixing up a potent batch of<br />

ricin, a powerful neurotoxin made from castor beans, and that Saddam was planning to use it<br />

on us and <strong>the</strong> Bellers in 9B.<br />

My daughter, Thomasin, shared her bro<strong>the</strong>r's concern about biological weapons, but<br />

she was less worried about neurotoxins, which kill reasonably quickly through acute hypoxic

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