Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

"Regular? Eight dumps a day ain't regular," Buchanan shot back. "Maybe this cave
wouldn't smell so bad if you ate newborn bats like the rest of us. Stoner here hasn't taken a
shit in a week."
"That's because of the opium. And I told you, baby bats don't agree with me!" Limbaugh
sniped, reaching for another snail.
"When are they getting us outta this fucking hole?" said Gingrich, as he nervously
flicked the safety catch of his M-16 on and off. Click-click, click-click, click-click.
"Stop that!" Gramm and Buchanan hissed in unison. Limbaugh threw the snail at
Gingrich, hitting him in his generous belly. Gingrich leveled his rifle at the radioman. "I am
this close to splattering you all over this cave. All of you!"
Just then, the radio crackled to life. "Foxtrot Romeo, this is Sea Lord." Kerry's voice
echoed through the cave. "Come in, Foxtrot Romeo."
Limbaugh grabbed the handset. "Sea Lord, this is Task Force Brave Eagle. I told you
`Foxtrot Romeo' sounds faggy"
There was a pause. "Very well, Brave Eagle. Prepare for extraction at twenty-three
thirty hours."
Limbaugh looked helplessly at Gramm, who shrugged. "Eleven-thirty at night, fatboy,"
scoffed Buchanan from the bottom of a fourteen-foot foxhole he had dug in the floor of
the cave.
"Yeehaw!" Gramm shouted. "We're goin' to Saigon, boys! This time tomorrow we'll
be knee-deep in slant-eyed pootie!" "Uh, Brave Eagle, you're on an unsecure radio frequency."
Kerry's disgust came through loud and clear. "And FYI, Four Corps Intel reports
beaucoup Victor Charlie movement in your area."
Limbaugh shat himself.
"Jesus, Limbaugh," Gingrich gagged. Any suggestion of war or fighting always did
that to Limbaugh. The acrid stench even penetrated Stoner's opium-induced delirium. He
leaned over and vomited copiously into Buchanan's foxhole.
"Hey, Pat. Incoming," Gingrich shouted, cracking up both himself and Gramm.
"Listen up, Brave Eagle. When you approach the rendezvous point, remember the
signal. Three clicks on the handset. Do you copy?"
Limbaugh clicked the handset three times. There was another pause.