Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

"These are government issue," O'Reilly said, tossing one in the air and then catching it
in his mouth like a piece of popcorn. "Careful! You could choke," Gore said, trying not to
sound too schoolmarmish.
"Yeah? Choke on this, pal," said O'Reilly, grabbing his crotch and kneading his balls.
Bush cracked up.
With the full moon glistening across the inky water, the Swift Boat idled slowly toward the
rendezvous point. Kerry expertly nosed the bow through a dense tangle of vines and foliage,
cutting the engine as he nestled the craft alongside the bank.
Without the regular throb of the engines, the jungle night came alive with sound.
Hyped on their wakey-wakeys, the crew twitched nervously with every monkey shriek, every
alligator splash, every lizard rustling through the undergrowth.
"Synchronize your watches. Cheney, what time you got?" Kerry asked in a whisper,
knowing of the Wyoming native's fondness for expensive timepieces.
Cheney was too weak to answer, but Bush leaned over and read the glowing watch
face. "About nine-thirty, Big Guy," Bush shouted.
"Sssshhhhhh. Quiet!" Kerry whispered urgently.
"Oh, right, right. Sorry" Bush said in hushed tones.
"And about nine-thirty doesn't help. Listen up. I've got twenty-one twenty-seven. That
means we got two hours and three minutes till rendezvous. Remember, this is Charlie's side
of the canal. Keep your eyes peeled. Your mouths shut. And your weapons ready."
Now, in the smothering heat and humidity of the tropical night, every man was alone
with his thoughts.
Even though the temperature hovered in the nineties, Ashcroft shivered involuntarily.
Before that night he had never taken anything stronger than the Vicks VapoRub his mother
used to massage into his chest, invariably producing an erection. Like the VapoRub, the
wakey-wakey had generated a deeply confusing blend of shame and excitement.
Thomas leaned over the gun tub toward O'Reilly, who was wedged behind the menacing
barrels of twin .50-caliber machine guns. "You gotta help me, O'Reilly," Thomas whispered.
"I'm so scared. The only thing that calms me down is porn."
"Does it have to be pictures? Or can I just tell you a dirty story?" O'Reilly murmured.