Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

The tail end of Kerry's ammo ran through the .50s and clattered to the floor of the gun tub.
"Gore, go below. Grab me some more ammo."
Gore jumped down into the cabin and opened the ammo locker to find ... beer. Cases
and cases of Lone Star. Putting two and two together, Gore cursed Bush for his reckless betrayal.
While Gore understood that alcoholism was a disease and that, to some extent, Bush
was not responsible for his own behavior, Gore still felt a deep-seated resentment that would
take many years to heal. If he lived that long.
The silencing of the .50s put an end to the three men's extravagant charade. Gingrich called
to the others. "Whatta you say we really charge this time?"
"Really really?" Gramm asked.
The approaching VC made up their minds for them. Buchanan was up first, running
flat-out toward the boat and screaming his war cry. Gramm and Gingrich followed close behind,
firing their weapons wildly. As they got within twenty feet of the boat, Kerry yelled at
both sides to cease fire.
Buchanan was the first to climb aboard. "You're all my prisoners," he announced.
Kerry grabbed Buchanan's M-16. "Gimme that!" Kerry snarled.
Gramm clambered aboard and lay gasping on the deck. Ashcroft and Thomas pulled
Gingrich up after him. "VC," Gingrich puffed. "Thev're right behind us. Gotta get outta here."
Sure enough, the VC were approaching. Without hesitation, Kerry hosed them down
with Buchanan's M-16. Eleven fell dead, including Colonel Nguyen. The other twenty or so,
now commanded by Corporal Ky, retreated to the safety of the jungle.
"Where are the other two?" Kerry asked Gramm. "Will and Limbaugh?"
"They're dead. Let's go!"
But at that moment Stoner emerged from the underbrush, carrying the head of a VC
soldier on the end of a bayonet. He climbed aboard, handed the head to Kerry, went to sit by
himself in a corner, and began rolling a thumb-thick doobie.
"Well, Limbaugh's definitely dead," Gingrich said. "I saw him go down. He took one
in the throat."