Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

"Well, you're the one who really should want this."
Hadn't anyone read "The Three Shipwrecks"?! Even in the Admissions Department?
"Well," Andrew replied, "I'm not into the whole religion thing as much as my
mother."
Judd."
"That would be impossible," I offered. "She's very beautiful. She looks like Naomi
Gerald nodded.
"But I'm okay with it," Andrew continued. "I haven't really developed my own personal
relationship with Christ, but I think it would be good to work on that. Plus, I'm really
pumped about going off to college. I have a friend at Syracuse, and he's having a blast."
Gerald moved past the blast at Syracuse and came back to Mom. "She sounds like
she's happier than she's ever been."
"Yeah," Andrew nodded. "Well, at least since Dad died."
I had a couple questions. Andrew was interested in premed. "I know you teach
creationism as opposed to evolution. How does that work out with medical schools?"
"Oh, it's no problem," Gerald reassured. "In fact, we have a higher percentage of students
accepted to medical school than the national average."
"Really? And what would that percentage be?" I wanted to know.
"I don't have that offhand," Gerald replied. "Perhaps I can get it for you."
Then Andrew pounced. At the airport in New York, we had picked up a U.S. News &
World Report Guide to the 1400 Top Colleges and Universities. "Maybe it's in here," Andrew
suggested innocently, pulling it out of his backpack.
Gerald blanched, knowing, as we did, that Bob Jones was not listed among the one
thousand, four hundred top colleges and universities in the United States. Andrew flipped to
South Carolina. "Hmmm ... maybe it's under J."
"Give me that." I took the book and examined it thoroughly, as Gerald looked on
uncomfortably. "It's ... it's not here."
"No," said Gerald. "A lot of colleges pay to get in that thing."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes." He nodded authoritatively.