Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

ALLISON: No pie for me. I'm on a diet.
DONNA: You, on a diet! If I had your figure, I'd have pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
(They share a laugh.)
ALLISON: Oh, what the hell! That lemon meringue looks great. Besides, it's gonna be a
long night.
DONNA: You workin' the night shift, too?
ALLISON: Well, in a manner of speaking. I'm a tax attorney and April's my busiest month.
DONNA: Well, don't look for any business from me. Thanks to President Bush, I won't be
paying any taxes this year.
(ALLISON laughs as DONNA pours her a cup of joe.)
ALLISON: You mean income taxes, Donna? Do you mind if I call you Donna? I read your
name tag.
DONNA: Sure, sug.
ALLISON: Donna, how much do you make?
DONNA: Well ...
ALLISON: C'mon, just between us gals. DONNA: Twenty-five thousand.
ALLISON: Wow. That puts you in the top 10 percent of all waitresses. And how much in
tips?
DONNA: That's including tips. I report every cent. In this country, if you play by the rules
and work hard, you can make a better life for yourself.
(ALLISON laughs again, spraying her coffee all over the counter.)
ALLISON: I'm so sorry.
DONNA: Don't worry about it, sug. I'll wipe that up. But what's so funny?
ALLISON: It's just that what you said is so sweet and naive. Sure, you're getting a $365
cut in your income tax, but you're forgetting the $3,825 that was withheld in payroll
taxes.
DONNA: Oh, I don't mind the payroll taxes, because I'll get back every cent in Social
Security and Medicare when I retire.