Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

"Help ... George..."
Cheney's face was white with fear. His pulse was weak and thready. His eyes seemed
glazed. Bush's own heart skipped a beat. "Don't leave me, Dick! Don't leave me! I can't make
it alone!"
"The pills. I need ... a pill," Cheney sputtered.
"Nah. No more wakey-wakeys for you, pal."
"Not ... wakey ... wakeys," Cheney gasped, "ni ... ni ... nitro . . ."
Kerry rushed over and, pushing Bush aside, took the nitroglycerine tablets from Cheney's
shirt pocket and slipped one into his mouth. As Cheney's breathing slowed and his color
began to return to normal, Kerry grabbed Bush by the collar. "Listen. He has eighteen more
pills. That's enough for eighteen more heart attacks. Give him the pill the moment you notice
anything unusual."
"Yessir." This latest heart attack had clearly upset the annoyingly jocular Bush. "Sir?"
he asked haltingly. "Sir, we're going to be okay, aren't we?"
"Sure, Bush. Everything's going to be fine."
"Skip? Do you ever get scared?"
Kerry smiled. "Let me tell you something Bush. Any man out here in the shit who
says he's not scared is just crazy, a liar, or both."
"I'm not scared," said O'Reilly from his position deep inside the gun tub.
Task Force Brave Eagle was late. Limbaugh blamed Buchanan, who had taken an extra forty
minutes to climb out of his foxhole. Buchanan thought it was Gramm's fault for losing the
flashlight. Gramm was sure that Gingrich was responsible, for wasting time arguing over who
was going to take point. Gingrich, in turn, blamed Stoner, who, after taking point, kept wandering
off in the wrong direction. Stoner, who had dropped acid, had decided to follow a hallucination
of Ted Williams, whom he blamed for trying to lead him toward a secret fishing
hole instead of the river. And all of them hated Limbaugh for the terrible smell that seemed
certain to give away their position. Plus, somewhere along the way the exhausted fat man had
set down the radio and intentionally forgotten to pick it up.
"Task Force Brave Eagle. Come in, Task Force Brave Eagle." Kerry tried the radio again.