Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

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"So you want us to give the Peabodys back?" O'Reilly smirked. "We won two Peabodys, the most prestigious award in journalism." Watching at home, I knew O'Reilly was right about one thing: The George Foster Peabody award is the most prestigious in broadcast journalism. But what on earth could Inside Edition have won a Peabody for? For its "Swimsuits: How Bare Is Too Bare?" story? Or maybe its three-part series on the father of Madonna's first baby, Carlos Leon? So I went to my Nexis, and put in "Peabody Award" and "Inside Edition." I did get three hits. They were all Bill O'Reilly claiming that Inside Edition had won a Peabody. Or two. If you read these O'Reilly Factor excerpts closely, you'll see an interesting progression. August 30, 1999: O'REILLY: I anchored a program called Inside Edition, which has won a Peabody Award. May 8, 2000: O'REILLY: Well, all I've got to say to that is Inside Edition has won, I-I believe two Pea- body awards, the highest journalism award in the country. May 19, 2000 (with guest Arthel Neville): NEVILLE: You hosted Inside Edition ... O'REILLY: Correct. NEVILLE: Which is considered a tabloid show. O'REILLY: By whom? NEVILLE: By many people. O'REILLY: Does that mean ... NEVILLE: And even you ... O'REILLY: ... we throw the Peabody Awards back? ... We won Peabody Awards. Next I went to the Peabody website, which lists all their winners throughout the years. No Inside Edition. Still, to be thorough, I called the Peabody people, and asked the woman on the other end of the line, "Yeah, did, by any chance, the show Inside Edition ever win a Peabody?"
She laughed. "No, Inside Edition has never been the recipient of a Peabody Award." I decided to call Bill. He was nice enough to get right back to me. "Yeah, Al, what can I do for you?" "Well, first of all, Bill, congratulations on all your success." "Thanks. What's up?" "Okay. I saw you the other night on C-SPAN, and you said Inside Edition had won a couple of Peabodys." "That's right. We won two." "Well, maybe you should check that out with the Peabody people. Because they don't think you did." There was a pause on the other end of the phone. Then, "I'll call you back." About ten minutes later, Bill was on the line. "It was a Polk." "A Polk?" I asked. "Yeah. Just as prestigious as the Peabody." "So, there are two most prestigious awards in journalism?" Bill didn't appreciate the sarcasm. "Al, it's a very prestigious award." "Fine," I said. "But, Bill, don't you think it's little ironic that you got it wrong about a journalism award?" show. "Okay, Al, go after me if you want," and he hung up. And, by the way, that Polk? Inside Edition won it over a year after O'Reilly left the I thought Bill's reaction was odd. He hadn't said, "Omigod! How embarrassing! I can't believe I've been saying that! Thank you so much, Al, for calling me. Now I won't humiliate myself by making that mistake again. Thank you so much for calling me rather than taking it public." Instead it was, "Go after me if you want." So, I did. I called Lloyd Grove at the Washington Post's Reliable Source column. Lloyd ran with it on March 1, 2001, after checking Nexis. He also offered Bill the opportunity to respond, and quoted him saying, "AI Franken is on a jihad against me. So I got mixed up between a Peabody Award and a Polk Award, which is just as prestigious." Okay. So that was over. He got caught making a mistake, and was kind of a jerk about it. Fine.
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LIES (And the Lying Liars Who Tell
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"No problem," Harvard said absentmi
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God chose me to write this book. IN
Page 7 and 8: 1 Hummus Asking whether there is a
Page 9 and 10: There is, however, a right-wing med
Page 11 and 12: page. Stock-car racing had been the
Page 13 and 14: Now, in fairness to Coulter, this k
Page 15 and 16: an editorial on Thomas titled, "The
Page 17 and 18: as in an actual chainsaw massacre).
Page 19 and 20: • And so is "half-wit" Jim Jeffor
Page 21 and 22: 4 Liberals Who Hate America That's
Page 23 and 24: World War 11) And the ninety combat
Page 25 and 26: • Civil War reenactments—weird
Page 27 and 28: 6 I Bitch-Slap Bernie Goldberg In J
Page 29 and 30: So, I, the comedian, bothered to lo
Page 31 and 32: Why, Bernie asks on page 57, is Rus
Page 33 and 34: Sure enough, a few hours later, ano
Page 35 and 36: Okay. Got it. Armed with both our M
Page 37 and 38: should have been an enormous credit
Page 39 and 40: national law to clean up hazardous
Page 41 and 42: SLATER: Governor, were you ever arr
Page 43 and 44: "All I know is that's what he told
Page 45 and 46: 8 Conclusion: A Lesson Learned As t
Page 47 and 48: say they're to the right on economi
Page 49 and 50: 10 Chapter for American Book by Kha
Page 51 and 52: 12 The Chapter on Fox They Distort,
Page 53 and 54: Angered by Murdoch's apparent lack
Page 55 and 56: ports on Capitol Hill), and Mara Li
Page 57: "Look," I said, "I want them to tak
Page 61 and 62: I'd found four separate incidents w
Page 63 and 64: So I asked Bill where he grew up. W
Page 65 and 66: On February 26, 2001, O'Reilly defe
Page 67 and 68: Rap artist Ludacris never had the p
Page 69 and 70: When the last lie had been apologiz
Page 71 and 72: comment on. Instead, he asked Peggy
Page 73 and 74: For some reason, that set me off, a
Page 75 and 76: "When you look at schools in relati
Page 77 and 78: Ollie North—decorated for courage
Page 79 and 80: The debate over vouchers isn't abou
Page 81 and 82: Let's parse that sentence. It seems
Page 83 and 84: ence" number, 3.1 percent. The fact
Page 85 and 86: Wait. Must be the October 21, 2002,
Page 87 and 88: so instead of driving back, I playe
Page 89 and 90: Motberfuckers!, due out in October
Page 91 and 92: al Qaeda cells in more than twenty
Page 93 and 94: The final al Qaeda attack of the Cl
Page 95 and 96: 16 Operation Ignore Bill Clinton's
Page 97 and 98: Homeland Security Agency with respo
Page 99 and 100: on August 3, after signing off on a
Page 101 and 102: eight programs, less than half deal
Page 103 and 104: 18 Humor in Uniform As I said, I've
Page 105 and 106: "But it's funny!" As a comedian, th
Page 107 and 108: do. And fortunately, there were no
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19 Who Created the Tone? "Scumbag,"
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shed light on some of the clandesti
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Brown had been shot in the back of
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Joe Lockhart, former Clinton press
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No. 20 Did the Tone Chamge?
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Other rumors about McCain that bega
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Rove's innovative approach to campa
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"I know, baby. And I know you love
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22 I Grow Discouraged About the Ton
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Dana Milbank of the Washington Post
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Instead of using this unique moment
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Office." (Evidently, DiIulio never
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The White House had fought hearings
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23 I’m Prudenized Every once in a
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After several mocking references to
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24 Paul Gigot Is Unable to Defend a
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out the Wall Street Journal's cover
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Brady and the assault weapons ban w
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"No," said the kindly nurse. "I did
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Four days earlier, the Wellstone ca
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American Indians did some tribal dr
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like Playboy playmates," the BunnyR
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lican party's most loyal Oaks, pick
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That's it, Rush. The old fallback.
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tainly reverberated into the mainst
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of the Republi can talking heads wh
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"What did you see?" I asked him. "I
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articles—that got it wrong. Some
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our proudest moments of him. When h
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26 I Attend the White House Corresp
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"Oh, really? What?" "Every day, Han
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in listen ing to him sing. About fi
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Don Evans. Evans is among Bush's cl
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couldn't make any sense of it eithe
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to the Pentagon, a trip he had take
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28 Bush Can't Lose with Clinton's M
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The commanders then send the target
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If called on by the commander in ch
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This is me in Vietnam. Sorry the fo
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Van Cong River. Mekong Delta, South
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As Gore watched helplessly, it almo
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"That doesn't make sense," Gore sai
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"Regular? Eight dumps a day ain't r
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"Yes ... sir," said Ashcroft, snapp
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"Dirty story'll do." "You want guy-
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"Let's get the fuck outta here." "S
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"Noooooo!!!!" Bush poured the nitro
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"Help! Help me!" Kerry recognized L
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the American Enterprise Institute,
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Don't get me wrong. Republicans are
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You choose the one with the bad for
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31 I’m a Bad Liar I never lie. Th
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So the next day, I had Liz call and
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Seeing as how we did spend the time
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"Well, Doug, I'm not a scientist. B
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Andrew understood. "So it's like an
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"No. We don't allow it in the dorms
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ness and his willingness to call us
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Of course, I nodded. Made perfect s
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or "moderate" influence in forty-fo
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33 Abstinence Heroes President Bush
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In these days o£ rampant immoralit
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26 "By Far the Vast Majority of My
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taxes than in income taxes, so this
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It got a laugh in Iowa. And a laugh
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longest period of economic growth i
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e hard to do. It is, however, easy
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person who is still alive. The livi
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You know who I think the real lucky
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ALLISON: No pie for me. I'm on a di
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ALLISON: But, you know, Donna, I'd
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ALLISON: Are you kidding? If she ca
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ME: Sure. RICH: Do you fight a lot?
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39 Vast Lagoons of Pig Feces: The B
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ing the Clean Water Act's rules to
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In 1995, a spill from one of these
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40 I Meet Former First Lady Barbara
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After we landed and were getting ou
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It's because I think he is his moth
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espiratory failure, and more worrie
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Perhaps so many Americans believe t
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But to be fair to Bush, there's mor
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a. There are seventy-two million ch
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It is a great racket. And not just
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MEET TEAMFRANKEN The fourteen membe
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This is my fifth bo
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my old classmate from college forme
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