Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

23
I’m Prudenized
Every once in a while, it's a good idea to think about Korea. And not just on Korea Day. We
fought a war there and lost thirty-three thousand brave Americans. Fifty years later, we still
have thirty-seven thousand troops deployed on the Korean peninsula, which might give you
an inkling of how long we could be occupying Iraq. Oh, and North Korea has nuclear weapons
and has threatened to turn Seoul into "a Sea of Fire."
Still, let's remember some of the things Korea has given us. Sanyo, for example. Also,
the Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church.
The Reverend Moon has proclaimed himself "the Savior, Messiah, and King of Kings
of all humanity." Frankly, I don't think he's any of those things. But the folks over at the
Washington Times do. They think he is the incarnation of Himself, and agree with him when
he says, "I will conquer and subjugate the world."
After all, he's their boss. That's why, since 1982, employees of the Times have been
forced to marry other Times employees in mass weddings conducted by the Reverend Moon.
This May, for example, Moon paired off the men in the subscription department with the
women in classifieds and married them on the Times's five-color printing floor. 1
So it's probably no surprise that the Times has not only reflected Moon's worldview
(e.g., "I am the King of it"), but doctored stories involving South Korea and those dealing
with the reverend's felony convictions for tax evasions. (The Messiah spent time behind bars
in Connecticut.) Let's face it, you might be willing to alter wire service copy about a guy who
has the power to force you to marry the gal in ad sales with a hump.
Most of the doctoring, though, has not been about Moon or Korea, but about American
politics. And much of that was done at the behest of the Times's executive editor, Wesley
Pruden. Pruden is an Arkansan whose father was chaplain of the White Citizens' Council, an
adjunct of the KKK. (The Ku Klux Klan, not the Korean King of Kings.) I'm not sure what
the chaplain does in the White Citizens' Council. My guess would be he provides comfort and
religious counseling to troubled members after a particularly traumatizing assault on black
people.
1 The quotes are real. The Times's mass wedding is unconfirmed.