Franken-Lies-And-the-Lying-Liars-Who-Tell

ing the Clean Water Act's rules to allow mining waste to be dumped directly into many heretofore
off-limits waterways.
The President would argue that our natural resources are best managed by people intimately
familiar with all the relevant regulations and statutes, and the tricks polluters use to
evade them.
I agree. Such people include academics, regulators, and environmental advocacy
groups. Experts all. Oh, but let's not forget the lobbyists for the polluters themselves. In their
own way, they are every bit as expert. This last group seems to be disproportionately represented
in this administration. There's people like:
Name Position Currently In charge of
Mark Rey
Bennett W. Raley
Rebecca Watson
Carmen Toohey
Patricia Lynn Scarlett
Undersecretary of Agriculture for Natural
Resources and Environment
Interior Assistant Secretary for Water and
Science
Assistant Secretary of the Interior for Land
and Minerals Management
Special Assistant to the Secretary of the
Interior for Alaska
Assistant Secretary of the Interior for Policy,
Management, and Budget
Forests Forests
Water Water
Land that contains minerals
Alaska Alaska
Previously lobbied for
Polluters of
Government regulations Everything
Land that contains minerals
I am not going to put you through a long list of horrible environmental actions taken by this
administration. Instead, I refer you to what TeamTranken calls the Internet. For instance, a
Google search of the terms "Bush, horrible, environment" yields 42,500 websites, some of
which discuss Bush's environmental record without any reference to horny, barely legal coeds.
Instead, I want to focus on what, for me, is the symbol of the Bush administration's relationship
to the environment: the skyscraping pig shit geyser.
The scene I described at the beginning of this chapter was not from some science fiction
movie. It's very real. It happened on one of the growing number of factory farms that are
despoiling vast tracts of America. It's a very, very shitty story.
Before we start, allow me to make it clear that I love meat. In fact, I am eating meat right
now. Sitting to my right are two members of TeamFranken. Sitting to my left are two pounds
of summer sausage.