Walker-My_Musical_Ex.. - Walter Cosand

DEPPE AND SCHARWENCKA 141
once physical and spiritual. At last I could bear it
no longer. I felt I could not rest without trying to
discover if there was any way of producing tones
similar to those which haunted my dreams ; I must
try to realize what I heard in my sleep. I tried, but
it was like being in a labyrinth, in which I could not
see my way to any possible outlet. At last I was un-
able to bear this strangely mingled physical and
mental strain any longer. I once more saved up a
little money, and, again crossing the ocean, returned
to Germany. There I had almost at once the singular
good luck to hear of Herr Deppe, and to be intro-
duced to him. The moment I heard my Anna play,
I knew that my quest was over. I was at the goal of
my desires; these were the tones of which I had
dreamed ! If I had gone on,' continued Mr. Clarke,
' giving concerts, and refusing to listen to the voice of
my musical conscience, where should I be now ?'
Anna was the next to tell her life. She described
how she had been admired and/eJeci as a fine pianist,
and had thought herself one, until undeceived by
Herr Deppe ; and yet how—though it had cost her a
severe struggle, and the loss of all prestige and
position for several years—she had given up all her
previous acquisitions, had ceased to play either at
concerts or in society, and had surrendered herself
wholly to Herr Deppe 's guidance.
When my turn came, and I spoke of my past, and
of St. Cecilia, and related what I was doing at the