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cærui raport cu lumea. Proximitatea, atingerea obiectului, ne „arde“ precumfocul. Gestul privirii de la distanflæ, chiar cu riscul aproximærilor, este justificat.De la distanflæ ne putem „tatona“ graniflele, ne putem contura imaginar,prin propriile reflexii, lumea øi obiectele sale. În acest sens a înfleles Freudjocul nepotului sæu, copilul Sophiei de Halberstadt, fiicæ a cærei pierdere, în1920, îl va fi marcat profund, pînæ într-acolo încît biografii sæi au consideratfunestul eveniment ca pe una dintre cauzele dezvoltærilor teoretice din Dincolode principiul plæcerii. Este vorba despre „copilul cu mosor“, personajal lucrærii amintite, cel care, de fiecare datæ cînd mama sa pleca, arunca unmosor dincolo de pætuflul sæu pentru a-l trage înapoi de capætul aflei øi a sebucura vizibil. Copilul, ne spune celebrul sæu bunic, repeta într-o manieræactivæ separarea de mamæ, „pierderea“ acesteia, abandonul, în încercareade a elabora preaplinul de træiri provocat de plecarea acesteia.Pe de altæ parte, orice træire a mamei este resimflitæ de copil; dacæ separareade fiul sæu îi provoacæ acesteia anxietate (prin retræirea împrejurærilor de fetiflæabandonatæ), copilul o va prelua, va deveni neliniøtit øi va avea nevoiesæ-øi manifeste starea, de pildæ, prin hiperactivitate.Dificultatea de a træi separarea se transmite intergeneraflional, chiar dacæ întregulcomportament al pærintelui este o încercare de drenare a træirilor sale,prin negarea distanflei, prin încremenirea în proximitate. O extremæ treceîn cealaltæ. Suspensia în proximitate întrefline un gen (imaginar) de uter înjurul persoanei „adulte“, care nu accede la capacitatea de a fi singur. A fi singur,a-fli putea angaja o ordine semnificativæ în propriul destin, mai mult prinopfliune decît prin incapacitate, este esenfla oricærei individuæri.Abandonul-prototip, cel în care este întreruptæ istoria relafliei cu pærinflii, esteo consecinflæ a existenflei unui copil imaginar deteriorat care nu poatesuporta un reflex real. Copilul imaginar deteriorat, sub varii forme – de la„calitatea“ de apendice al pærintelui, pînæ la devitalizare øi moarte –, condenseazæsuita de træiri ale mamei, (re)activate de naøtere. Indiferent de timpul„cronologic“ care s-a scurs pînæ la abandon, nivelul de deteriorate alcopilului imaginar se aflæ în relaflie cu valoarea timpului psihic al raportuluidintre mamæ øi bebeluø, timp ale cærui clipe sînt marcate de afecte extreme.Orice copil abandonat indicæ istoria unui pærinte în abandon. Repetifliadestinalæ, deseori dificil de sesizat sub aspectul „nevrozei de destin“ (incapacitateade a fi fericit, nevoia de nefericire), încheagæ linii de rudenie, permiteadaptarea la reperele mediului chiar dacæ pentru aceasta sînt necesareuneori comportamente extreme. Abandonul este o formæ de adaptare: omamæ care întoarce spatele copilului sæu încearcæ sæ se adapteze unor træiriimposibil de elaborat în afara trecerii la act.Fenomenul-prototip este o speflæ radicalæ a træirii abandonului, træire de carenu sîntem scutifli, cu nuanflele destinale aferente, niciunul din noi. Pozifliileradicale øi nevoia de acfliune în acest sens reprezintæ maniere de a ne revizitaraportul cu aceastæ træire. Mæsura nevoii de soluflie – socialæ – este un indiciual cæutærii de soluflii personale, færæ a înflelege prin aceasta cæ spiritul civicfline neapærat de istorii dramatice. Nu grija pentru aproapele este în discuflie,ci maniera în care este træitæ personal nevoia de a oferi ajutor: gælægios, reactivsau adaptat, asumat øi, poate, eficient.Abandonul-prototip pune problema graniflei dintre imaginar øi real. Dificultæflilepaternajului la care a fost supus pærintele nu pot fi conflinute în imaginar, cidevin realitate comportamentalæ. Abandonul-prototip indicæ raportul pærinteluicu limita, capacitatea de a (re)træi situafliile copilæriei sale: copilul abandonatpoate sæ fie øi un copil mort. Abandonul devine o formæ de întrerupereebullition, difficult to construct, waves of experiences and the need to withdraw.The relation with fire, of which Bachelard talks, is paradigmatic for“the step behind” necessary in every relation to the world. Proximity, touchingthe object, “burns” us like fire. The act of watching from distance, even at therisk of approximation, is justified. From the distance, one can “feel” one’s borders,one can imaginarily draw, by one’s own reflections, the world and itsobjects. This is the acceptance Freud gave to the play of his grandchild, theson of Sophia de Halberstadt, his daughter, whose loss, in 1920, would markhim deeply, to the amount that his biographers regarded the grimly eventas one of the causes for the theoretical developments in Beyond the Principleof Pleasure. It is the “reel child”, a character of the above-mentioned work,the one who, every time his mother left the room, would throw a reel beyondhis little bed in order to draw it back by the string’s end and visibly enjoy it.The child, as his famous grandfather tells us, was actively repeating the separationfrom the mother, his “losing” her, the abandon, trying to articulate theoverflow of affects caused by her departure.On the other side, any experience of the mother is sensed by the child; if theseparation from her son causes her anxiety (by re-experiencing the circumstanceof an abandoned little girl), the child will undertake the anxiety, he willbecome unrest and will need to manifest this state, for instance, by beinghyperactive.The difficulty to experience the separation is transmitted in an inter-generationalmanner, even if the parent’s entire behaviour is an attempt to drain hisexperiences, by denying distance, by remaining stuck in proximity. An extremepasses into another. The suspension in proximity maintains an (imaginary)kind of uterus around the “adult” person, which doesn’t attain the ability ofbeing alone. Being alone, being able to engage in a significant ordering withinone’s own destiny, rather by choice than by inability, is the essence of everyindividuation.The prototype abandon, the one in which the history of the relationship withthe parents is being interrupted, is a consequence of the existence of a deterioratedimaginary child who cannot allow for a real reflex. The deterioratedimaginary child, in various forms – from the “quality” of a parent’s appendixto devitalization and death – epitomizes a series of his mother’s experiences,(re)activated by birth. Regardless of the “chronologic” time spent until theabandon, the imaginary child’s level of deterioration depends on the valueof the psychic time of the mother-child relation, a time whose moments aremarked by extreme affects.Every abandoned child points to the history of an abandoned parent. Destinalrepetition, which is often difficult to compass as a “destiny neurosis” (the incapacityof being happy, the need for unhappiness), coagulate kin lines, allowsthe accommodation to the environment marks, even if doing so requests someextreme behaviours. Abandon is a form of accommodation: a mother whoturns her back on her child tries to adapt to some experiences impossible toelaborate outside actuation.The prototype phenomenon is a radical species of experiencing the abandon,an experience which, with the destinal shades involved, none of us is freefrom. The radical positions and the need to act in this sense represent waysof revisiting our relation to this experience. The need for – social – changeindicates the search for personal solutions, without meaning that the civicsense is necessarily bound to dramatic histories. We are not talking aboutcaring for thy neighbour, but about the way in which the need to help is personallyexperienced: blatant, reactive or adapted, assuming and, maybe, efficiently.140

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