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At the same time we are identifying Them, we are also looking for Us, the potentialallies we think we can recruit into our tribe. We try to form bonds by asking questionsthat will identify commonalities. Many of the questions may be intended to elicitinformation about tribal affiliations. We may ask for last names or the spelling of a firstname as a clue to heritage. We may mention politics or religion, or try to identifycommon friends or shared experiences. We may inquire about sports, of course, orhobbies, books, or television shows. We may want to know if our potential friends havechildren, and parents or siblings who are living. And we will almost always ask aboutwork – how and where they earn a living.If we find commonalities, we may form a temporary tribe, by “breaking bread,” sharing adrink, or perhaps many drinks. Alcohol seems to break down barriers and help peopleform new tribal affiliations.As we invest more time, and share experiences that are more intense, our bonds growstronger. The strongest bonds are formed in battling a common threat, whether it is anillness, a rival team, a terrorist regime, or the villain in a video game. Such bonds canfeel, and may be, stronger than kinship, as the title of Stephen Ambrose’s book “Band ofBrothers” suggests.But the bonds also can be fleeting. When traveling alone in a foreign country, we mayfeel a powerful connection to another tourist from our home country. When we meetthat same person in our home country, the connection may have evaporated. 4242 Robert Ariely, Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces that Shape Our Decisions 22-23 (2010).15