The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

SUBMISSIVE TELLS
Ingratiation is a pervasive part of our social lives; it's also
the essential lubricant in business. It oils the wheels of the
organization, reducing the friction between people at
different levels and smoothing their ascent up the
corporate ladder. Research reveals the sad truth that individuals
who make a business of ingratiating themselves
with their superiors enjoy more career success than those
who concentrate on getting the job done properly. 25
Ingratiation has obvious benefits for corporate
employees because it allows them to curry favour with
their boss, at very little cost to themselves. However, it
always carries the risk that it will be recognized for what it
is, and that the motives of the ingratiator will be called into
question. When the ingratiator is of lower status than his
or her target, there's a much greater danger that the target
will decide that the ingratiator is not being sincere, simply
because he or she has so much to gain. There are several
tricks that people use to make their ingratiation less
transparent:
• DOWNGRADING. To disguise their motives people
often choose a less potent version of ingratiation - for
example, complimenting someone rather than doing
them a favour. Because favours involve more time and
effort than compliments they're much more likely to be
noticed and to raise suspicions.
• DILUTING. Another trick is using a 'diluted' rather than
a 'concentrated' form of ingratiation - for example,
complimenting the boss on a particular phrase in his
speech rather than on the whole speech.
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