The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their eyes, people are preventing themselves from seeing the thing that is distressing them, and by covering their mouth they are simultaneously concealing their distress and preventing themselves from saying something they might later regret. These covering gestures are essentially symbolic. For example, when you hear about an air crash on the radio, you are as likely to cover your eyes as your ears - by covering your eyes you are behaving as if you had actually seen the accident, not just heard about it. The other two 'protective' adaptors are the 'head-clasp' and the 'cradle'. The best place to see these gestures is at a sporting event like a football match, especially when there's a lot at stake for both sides. When a player shoots at goal and narrowly misses, you often see the supporters clasp their head in despair - the hands rise up and cover the top of the head, creating a manual crash helmet. This is a natural, unlearned response, and it's found all round the world. It works metaphorically because it's designed to shield the head, not against physical blows, but from the psychological damage of witnessing some terrible spectacle. In 1996 the England football team played Germany in the semi-finals of the European Championship in Turin. At the end of the full period the score was 1-1, so the match had to be decided on a penalty shoot-out, where six players from each side have to take turns at getting the ball past the other team's goalkeeper. The teams were level at five points apiece, when Gareth Southgate, the England midfielder, stepped up to the line to take his shot at goal. This was a crucial point: if he missed and the next German player got the ball in the net, Germany would win and go 230
ANXIETY TELLS on to the final, and England would be out of the competition. When Southgate placed the ball, walked back and started his run he knew how important it was to get the ball into the net. Maybe it was the weight of responsibility resting on his shoulders, or maybe he had a momentary loss of concentration - but, instead of striking the ball cleanly, he tapped it softly, and the German goalkeeper had no problem stopping it before it got near the goal mouth. As Southgate turned and began his lonely walk back across the pitch, he realized the grave consequences of his missed penalty. While he was walking back towards his team mates, with his eyes downcast, Southgate did what so many football players do when they're in the depth of despair - he 'cradled' the back of his head in his hands. There isn't much that a football player can do to console himself in this kind of situation - he can't talk to himself or pat himself on the back or give himself a hug. However he can comfort himself by performing the 'cradle'. Although he doesn't realize it, by placing his hands round the back of his head he is repeating the action that his mother used to support his head when he was a helpless baby. The sense of security that he felt then is intimately connected in his mind with the sensation of having the back of his head supported. By clasping the back of his head in his own hands, the player is therefore substituting himself for his mother. The 'cradle posture' isn't only seen on the football pitch - it can be found wherever people feel insecure and need to protect themselves from threats, either real or imagined. If you watch a heated boardroom meeting you're likely to witness a few examples of the 'cradle'. In fact there are 231
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
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THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
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THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
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2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
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THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
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THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
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THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
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THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
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THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
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THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
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THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
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THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
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THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
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THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
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THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
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THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
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THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
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4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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Page 182 and 183: THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
Page 184 and 185: THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
Page 186 and 187: THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
Page 188 and 189: THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
Page 190 and 191: THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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Page 196 and 197: 7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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Page 200 and 201: THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
Page 202 and 203: THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
Page 204 and 205: THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
Page 206 and 207: THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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Page 214 and 215: THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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Page 218 and 219: THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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Page 222 and 223: THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
Page 224 and 225: THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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Page 228 and 229: THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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Page 235 and 236: ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
Page 237 and 238: ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
Page 239 and 240: ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
Page 241 and 242: ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
Page 243 and 244: ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
Page 245 and 246: SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
Page 247 and 248: SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
Page 249 and 250: SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
Page 251 and 252: SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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Page 255 and 256: SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
Page 257 and 258: SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
Page 259 and 260: SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
Page 261 and 262: SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
Page 263 and 264: SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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Page 267 and 268: SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
Page 269 and 270: SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
Page 271 and 272: SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
Page 273 and 274: SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
Page 275 and 276: SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
Page 277 and 278: SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
Page 279 and 280: SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
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LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
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LYING TELLS in their ability to det
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LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
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LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
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LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
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LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
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LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
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LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
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LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
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LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
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LYING TELLS work involved in produc
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11. Foreign Tells When people speak
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FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
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FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
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FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
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FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
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FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
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FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
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FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
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FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
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FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
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FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
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SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
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SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
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SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
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SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
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SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
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SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
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SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
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SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
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SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
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13. Tell-tales You're going to work
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TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
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TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
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TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
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TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
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Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
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NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
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NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
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NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
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NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
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NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
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NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
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NOTES female attractiveness and des
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NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
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NOTES salespersons and customers be
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NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
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NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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