The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS Courtship Tells Up until a few years ago a woman who took out a cigarette at a social gathering could reasonably expect a man to offer her a light. The ritual of lighting a woman's cigarette still provides men and women with an opportunity to exchange courtship signals - the man can position his body and the lighter to convey his interest, and he is able to check her out at close quarters while she's busy lighting her cigarette. For her part, the woman can reciprocate by lightly touching his hand, ostensibly to steady herself but really so that she can make physical contact. She can also show her interest in the man by disengaging slowly and looking him in the eye for longer than normal when she thanks him. The beauty of this ritual is that it enables people to exchange suggestive signals very rapidly and with all the ambiguity that courtship requires. Generally speaking, the courtship signals that men and women exchange are based on the secondary sexual characteristics that distinguish them. Individuals who want to attract members of the opposite sex do so by emphasizing and exaggerating these differences, while people who wish to discourage attention do so by downplaying and disguising them. It's the same with courtship and smoking. A woman who wants to emphasize her femininity usually does so by accentuating the smoking style of women - by adopting a straight-leg hold, displaying the wrist, using the ends of the fingers, and smoking slowly. Men react unconsciously to these signals - they know there's something sexy about the woman whos using them, but they can't explain why they find her so attractive. 336
SMOKING TELLS There are several reasons why smoking is seen as sexy. Firstly, because smoking wasn't traditionally part of the female role, women who smoked were regarded as sexually liberated. This was very noticeable in the 1920s, when young 'flappers' scandalized society by taking up the smoking habits of men, and doing it in public! Although this association probably no longer holds, lots of men believe that a woman who smokes is sexier than one who doesn't. Then there's the phallic symbolism of cigarettes and cigars, and the strong connection between smoking and sex, with cigarettes playing a central role immediately prior to sexual foreplay and immediately afterwards in the shape of the post-coital smoke. The act of smoking surreptitiously raises the issue of seduction. 'We must not forget,' said Jean Cocteau, 'that a pack of cigarettes, the ceremony of taking one out, igniting the lighter, and the strange cloud which surrounds us, have seduced and conquered the world.' Whenever smokers light up they show themselves to be seduced. By smoking suggestively they can also be seductive. The languid, unhurried way that the cigarette is raised to the mouth and held between the lips, the way the smoke is savoured and dispelled from the mouth - all of these movements are reminiscent of the acts of love. Although People don't realize it, they often draw conclusions about how someone is likely to behave in bed from the way they srnoke a cigarette. That's why flirtatious smoke signals are so successful - they suggestively shape people's impressions of each other without them knowing. 337
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
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THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
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THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
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2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
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THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
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THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
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THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
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THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
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THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
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THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
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THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
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THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
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THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
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THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
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THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
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THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
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THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
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4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
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THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
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THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
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THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they
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THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
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7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was
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THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels
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THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
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THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
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THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
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ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
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ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
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ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
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ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
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ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
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SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
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SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
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SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
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SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
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SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
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SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
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SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
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SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
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SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
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SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
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SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
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SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
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SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
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SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
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SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
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SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
Page 285 and 286: LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
Page 287 and 288: LYING TELLS in their ability to det
Page 289 and 290: LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
Page 291 and 292: LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
Page 293 and 294: LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
Page 295 and 296: LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
Page 297 and 298: LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
Page 299 and 300: LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
Page 301 and 302: LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
Page 303 and 304: LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
Page 305 and 306: LYING TELLS work involved in produc
Page 307 and 308: 11. Foreign Tells When people speak
Page 309 and 310: FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
Page 311 and 312: FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
Page 313 and 314: FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
Page 315 and 316: FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
Page 317 and 318: FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
Page 319 and 320: FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
Page 321 and 322: FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
Page 323 and 324: FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
Page 325 and 326: FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
Page 327 and 328: FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
Page 329 and 330: SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
Page 331 and 332: SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
Page 333 and 334: SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
Page 335: SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
Page 339 and 340: SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
Page 341 and 342: SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
Page 343 and 344: SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
Page 345 and 346: SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
Page 347 and 348: 13. Tell-tales You're going to work
Page 349 and 350: TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
Page 351 and 352: TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
Page 353 and 354: TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
Page 355 and 356: TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
Page 357 and 358: Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
Page 359 and 360: NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
Page 361 and 362: NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
Page 363 and 364: NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
Page 365 and 366: NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
Page 367 and 368: NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
Page 369 and 370: NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
Page 371 and 372: NOTES female attractiveness and des
Page 373 and 374: NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
Page 375 and 376: NOTES salespersons and customers be
Page 377 and 378: NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
Page 379: NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
Page 382 and 383: THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
Page 384 and 385: THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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