The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

GREETING TELLS
and they need to show that the relationship they enjoy
with the other person won't be affected by their departure.
To get the first part of this message across, the participants
need to send out 'closure signals'; to convey the second
part of the message they need to provide each other with
'relationship signals'.
There is an enormous range of closure signals that
people can use. Some are linguistic, others non-verbal.
One of the ways that people draw a conversation to a
close is by reducing the amount of time they spend looking
at the other person, and the amount of 'back-channel
signals' they produce while the other person is speaking.
As we've seen, 'back-channel signals' consist of nods and
'uh-huh' sounds that are designed to encourage the other
person and to show that one doesn't want to take over
the speaker role. Reducing these signals usually sends a
clear message to the other person that the conversation is
starting to wind down. The head, arms and legs are also
used to get this message across. Rapid nodding of the
head, shifting the weight from one leg to another, placing
the hands on the armrest of the chair - all these 'intention
displays' are used to show that one is preparing to leave.
Some closure signals are bold and clear. Most, however,
are very subtle. But even when they are barely visible,
most closure signals manage to reach their target.
Relationship signals are designed to reassure the other
person that the end of the encounter does not signal the
end of the relationship. This message is conveyed by
several kinds of talk:
• JUSTIFICATION TALK. People who are about to leave
often announce that they're going because they have to,
191