The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

CONVERSATION TELLS
over your mouth - in other words performing actions that
are the opposite of preparatory movements to speak.
The third way that listeners demonstrate that they don't
want the floor is by asking questions. These can take the
form of queries which stand on their own, like 'Do you
come here often?', or they can take the form of tag
questions like 'isn't it?' or 'don't you think?' which are
tagged on the end of statements. Asking questions invites
the other person to assume the speaker role or to continue
occupying it. Women often use this ploy when they meet
a man for the first time; they produce lots of back-channel
signals and ask lots of questions, which make them look
attentive. A man who is treated in this way by a woman
tends to assume that she is genuinely interested in what he
has to say, and this encourages him to keep talking -
sometimes to the point of taking up permanent residence
in the speaker role. Because the man is so caught up in
what he's saying, he often forgets to ask the woman about
herself. Women often start out facilitating men's conversations,
and then end up regretting it.
Turn-taking Tells
When you are in the listener role there are several ways
you can show the speaker that you want the floor. One is
by producing 'alerting signals' - for example, raising your
hand or widening your eyes slightly to show the other
person that you want to speak. Another way is by opening
your mouth and breathing in audibly - in other words,
producing slightly exaggerated versions of the 'preparatory
movements' that you would normally perform just before
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