The Book of Tells (Peter Collett)[unlocked]

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THE BOOK OF TELLS reduces the threat to others because it's linked to the 'fear response'. When individuals are in danger they frequently 'freeze'. 4 This reduces their chances of being seen, but it also sends a very clear message that the individual is not preparing to attack - especially when it's combined with postural adjustments that are designed to make the person appear smaller. There are several ways that people try to look smaller than they actually are. One is by slouching; another is by squatting or sitting down. Wearing dull colours and avoiding padded shoulders and hats also helps. The most potent messages of submission are those associated with vulnerability, especially in the way that people arrange their arms and legs. Standing and sitting postures are full of tells because dominant people tend to adopt 'open' postures, while submissive people tend to adopt 'closed' postures. There are several submissive standing postures. One is the 'parallel stance', where the legs are straight and parallel. Schoolchildren adopt this posture when they're talking to their teacher; soldiers use it when they're addressing a superior officer, and employees assume it when they're talking to their boss. In less formal settings, subordinate people sometimes stand with their legs crossed, adopting a 'scissors stance', where the legs are straight and one is crossed over the other, or the 'bent blade stance', where all the weight is on one leg and the other is bent, with the foot positioned either in front or behind, with just the toes touching the ground. People who are shy or lacking in confidence also adopt these postures. Submission is revealed in two aspects of sitting posture. One involves drawing back the feet and even concealing 76
SUBMISSIVE TELLS them so that they don't invade the public space and impose themselves on other people. The other feature involves keeping the knees together and/or crossing the legs, either at the thigh or at the ankles. These postures are the antithesis of 'open legged' postures, where the genitals are put on display. With the knees together and the legs crossed, the genitals are symbolically placed out of sight and out of bounds, and other people are prevented, again symbolically, from getting between the person's legs. The other important function of crossing the legs and keeping them close together is that this increases the amount of 'auto-contact' - that is, the extent that the body is in contact with itself. When people feel threatened, as they tend to do when they're being submissive, they often feel the need to reassure themselves by increasing autocontact. Again, this is not something that people consciously decide to do. Most of the time it happens without them being aware of what they're doing and why they're doing it. Self-comforting Tells When we're talking to someone in a position of authority we tend to assume that our own actions, rather than those of the other person, are being judged, and this makes us feel self-conscious and insecure. There are several ways that we cope with these feelings. One is by engaging in auto-contact actions where we touch, hold or stroke ourselves. These self-comforting gestures serve to reassure us - just as they do when someone else touches, holds or strokes us. In this sense auto-contact actions are really 77
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AS SEEN ON TV Fell is an action tha
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Also by Peter Collett Foreign Bodie
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THE BOOK OF TELLS A BANTAM BOOK: 0
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Contents Acknowledgements 1 Tells 2
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Spiecker, Martine Stewart, Michael
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THE BOOK OF TELLS purpose other tha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS lay false trails.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS recognize as tell
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THE BOOK OF TELLS often identify th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS look out for micr
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Similarly, when w
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Counterfeit tells
Page 26 and 27: THE BOOK OF TELLS sign of helplessn
Page 28 and 29: THE BOOK OF TELLS reasonably assume
Page 30 and 31: THE BOOK OF TELLS pre-emptive prope
Page 32 and 33: THE BOOK OF TELLS own actions - it'
Page 34 and 35: THE BOOK OF TELLS don't even know t
Page 36 and 37: 2. Dominant Tells When we meet peop
Page 38 and 39: THE BOOK OF TELLS of the need to 'r
Page 40 and 41: THE BOOK OF TELLS about how importa
Page 42 and 43: THE BOOK OF TELLS stance than women
Page 44 and 45: THE BOOK OF TELLS the 'crotch-yank'
Page 46 and 47: THE BOOK OF TELLS Because they conv
Page 48 and 49: THE BOOK OF TELLS one where the int
Page 50 and 51: THE BOOK OF TELLS Superficially all
Page 52 and 53: THE BOOK OF TELLS much more likely
Page 54 and 55: THE BOOK OF TELLS how the eyes are
Page 56 and 57: THE BOOK OF TELLS an air of perpetu
Page 58 and 59: THE BOOK OF TELLS Yawning Tells Eve
Page 60 and 61: THE BOOK OF TELLS adult males than
Page 62 and 63: THE BOOK OF TELLS speech style so a
Page 64 and 65: THE BOOK OF TELLS attempting to be
Page 66 and 67: THE BOOK OF TELLS Looking round the
Page 68 and 69: THE BOOK OF TELLS talkative and inf
Page 70 and 71: THE BOOK OF TELLS things that appea
Page 72 and 73: THE BOOK OF TELLS elongated and the
Page 74 and 75: THE BOOK OF TELLS appeasement. Cons
Page 78 and 79: THE BOOK OF TELLS substitution tell
Page 80 and 81: THE BOOK OF TELLS Head Tells Charle
Page 82 and 83: THE BOOK OF TELLS to identify how t
Page 84 and 85: THE BOOK OF TELLS to find ways of l
Page 86 and 87: THE BOOK OF TELLS lifting the visor
Page 88 and 89: THE BOOK OF TELLS completed what he
Page 90 and 91: THE BOOK OF TELLS point out that wh
Page 92 and 93: THE BOOK OF TELLS the resulting exp
Page 94 and 95: THE BOOK OF TELLS opinions about bl
Page 96 and 97: THE BOOK OF TELLS unexpected and un
Page 98 and 99: THE BOOK OF TELLS several minutes,
Page 100 and 101: THE BOOK OF TELLS true, boss, you w
Page 102 and 103: THE BOOK OF TELLS • SIMPLIFYING.
Page 104 and 105: 4. Conversation Tells The most obvi
Page 106 and 107: THE BOOK OF TELLS As we saw in the
Page 108 and 109: THE BOOK OF TELLS you started talki
Page 110 and 111: THE BOOK OF TELLS talk. Interrupter
Page 112 and 113: THE BOOK OF TELLS to eliminate the
Page 114 and 115: THE BOOK OF TELLS a way that minimi
Page 116 and 117: THE BOOK OF TELLS the speaker does
Page 118 and 119: THE BOOK OF TELLS 'place-dropping'
Page 120 and 121: THE BOOK OF TELLS Before you've had
Page 122 and 123: THE BOOK OF TELLS used to show that
Page 124 and 125: THE BOOK OF TELLS THE STRADDLE STAN
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THE BOOK OF TELLS movement to depar
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THE BOOK OF TELLS when you consider
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hair Tells One of
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THE BOOK OF TELLS up the stairs so
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people's behaviou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS also come from th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS distinguishes the
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THE BOOK OF TELLS necessarily sound
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THE BOOK OF TELLS reflects the temp
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Adulation Tells A
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THE BOOK OF TELLS The Adoring Wife
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Iconic Hand Gestu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS of tearing into o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS people, insults a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Insults are the E
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THE BOOK OF TELLS deciding in advan
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - it's far better
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Political intervi
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THE BOOK OF TELLS 'negative back-ch
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Transition Tells
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THE BOOK OF TELLS convey messages o
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THE BOOK OF TELLS include, who cont
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THE BOOK OF TELLS other person for
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THE BOOK OF TELLS hand is below, in
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking and smili
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THE BOOK OF TELLS friendly. Kennedy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS trying to figure
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THE BOOK OF TELLS arm round the oth
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman he knows an
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THE BOOK OF TELLS kisses were not t
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • VOCALIZED KIS
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Another strategy
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THE BOOK OF TELLS woman realizes th
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THE BOOK OF TELLS not because they
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THE BOOK OF TELLS competing with ea
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7. Royal Tells On a state visit to
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Elizabeth, the Qu
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THE BOOK OF TELLS idea that laughte
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Queen usually ado
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THE BOOK OF TELLS • THE HANDBAG.
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THE BOOK OF TELLS superiors. Touch,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS to shake hands, a
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THE BOOK OF TELLS than any other wa
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THE BOOK OF TELLS cuff. This is Cha
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THE BOOK OF TELLS talking to people
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THE BOOK OF TELLS - someone who was
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THE BOOK OF TELLS action occurs whe
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THE BOOK OF TELLS have high levels
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THE BOOK OF TELLS People can detect
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THE BOOK OF TELLS anxious and despo
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THE BOOK OF TELLS his keys it shows
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THE BOOK OF TELLS activities' which
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THE BOOK OF TELLS By covering their
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THE BOOK OF TELLS ANXIETY TELLS 232
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ANXIETY TELLS suddenly, to last lon
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ANXIETY TELLS the amount of time th
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ANXIETY TELLS being noticed, but be
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ANXIETY TELLS linguists call 'funda
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ANXIETY TELLS as to their desire to
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SEXUAL TELLS 'primary sexual charac
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SEXUAL TELLS between courtship sign
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SEXUAL TELLS animated, while the ma
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SEXUAL TELLS • SCANNING. People m
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SEXUAL TELLS are in the middle of t
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SEXUAL TELLS attractive man she can
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SEXUAL TELLS Flirting Tells Flirtin
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SEXUAL TELLS Leg Tells Women also t
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SEXUAL TELLS The last time I saw th
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SEXUAL TELLS the way that young peo
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SEXUAL TELLS been recognized. Writi
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SEXUAL TELLS the sixteenth century,
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SEXUAL TELLS Touching Tells Courtsh
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SEXUAL TELLS watch Hugh Grant on sc
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SEXUAL TELLS voice is big and muscu
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SEXUAL TELLS were keen to get toget
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SEXUAL TELLS have shown that people
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SEXUAL TELLS In contrast to the sig
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SEXUAL TELLS don't have the resourc
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SEXUAL TELLS mean anything. The oth
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LYING TELLS when they're given a pr
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LYING TELLS in their ability to det
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LYING TELLS • MULTIPLE CAUSES. Pe
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LYING TELLS speed up. In this kind
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LYING TELLS There is, however, a su
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LYING TELLS The Mouth-cover is an i
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LYING TELLS Smiling Tells Of all th
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LYING TELLS Micro-tells When people
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LYING TELLS the eyes bulging and th
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LYING TELLS SMOKESCREENS. Liars oft
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LYING TELLS work involved in produc
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11. Foreign Tells When people speak
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FOREIGN TELLS Action Tells Shibbole
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FOREIGN TELLS with a very light gri
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FOREIGN TELLS around. If he's serio
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FOREIGN TELLS side of the mouth are
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FOREIGN TELLS always talking, wheth
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FOREIGN TELLS Conversation Tells. I
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FOREIGN TELLS distance, simply by o
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FOREIGN TELLS expansive movements,
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FOREIGN TELLS 'Take two!' or 'Go ha
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FOREIGN TELLS more gesturally expre
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SMOKING TELLS us a great deal about
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SMOKING TELLS differ - most notably
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SMOKING TELLS The 'straight-leg hol
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SMOKING TELLS Gender is displayed i
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SMOKING TELLS There are several rea
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SMOKING TELLS smoke around her face
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SMOKING TELLS waving his cigarette
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SMOKING TELLS cigarette and being w
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SMOKING TELLS smoking simply provid
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13. Tell-tales You're going to work
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TELL-TALES present man behind in hi
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TELL-TALES host greeted you effusiv
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TELL-TALES allowing them instead to
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TELL-TALES chapters have shown that
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Notes 1. Tells 1 Caro, M. (1994) Th
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NOTES 5 Tremblay, R. E., Schaal, B.
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NOTES 27 Henley, N. (2001) 'Body po
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NOTES Human Facial Expression, edit
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NOTES 9 Duncan, S. (1972) 'Some sig
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NOTES 12 Schegloff, E. A. (1989) 'F
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NOTES Instrumentation, 1, 203-7; Be
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NOTES female attractiveness and des
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NOTES Therapy, 15(4), 271-82. 28 Pe
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NOTES salespersons and customers be
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NOTES 8 Zeldin, T. (1988) The Frenc
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NOTES effects of cigarette smoking
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Atkinson, Max, Ou
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THE BOOK OF TELLS compatibility 276
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THE BOOK OF TELLS flattery 99-103 f
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THE BOOK OF TELLS Hitler, Adolf 26,
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THE BOOK OF TELLS men sexual signal
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THE BOOK OF TELLS relaxation 46, 69
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THE BOOK OF TELLS thighs, pressed t
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